


I never stopped

by Draven_Holmes



Series: The ends to a beginning [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Male Character, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, Physical Abuse, Sexual Content, Strong Friendship - Freeform, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 37,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1713569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draven_Holmes/pseuds/Draven_Holmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki was never the evil one as the others thought. At birth his father hated him but knew that young Loki was better use to him alive. Using very strong magic by Aðalbrandr. Aðalbrandr uses Loki until caught on earth after the Avengers stop him, leaving Loki to get the blame. Loki is sentence to life as a prisoner and be torture as one. As the story develops and Loki is found to be innocent Thor sent out to make it right. Thorki is the main pairing, others might develop.</p>
<p>Update: I finally got a Laptop and used Google drive as I was told it was the best for fixing errors on typing. I just fixed my spelling errors and any other mistake that auto-correct found for me. Be warned that English is not my first language and if such things as a misplaced comma or period bother you then don't read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

965 AD

There was a war waging on and Laufey was next to his husband Fárbauti. The child born this day would be the next in line for the Frost Giant throne, his son must be strong, smart and worthy. As the war waged on and came close to his gates, his husband gave a final push. The Healers worked to secure the child and Laufey watched on. His son was puny, not worthy of the crown; the time was right for the child to come. Laufey stared at the child and back to his husband, both of them were strong and born twice as big then this- puny thing. The frost giants were known for their height and strength amongst the nine realms but this child was the size of an Asgardian child.

"Why is it so puny, it was carried to term. He is not worthy of the crown or to be called my son!" Laufey yelled causing the healer and his husband to cringe. "Tell me why he is so puny!" he yelled at the healer holding the baby, causing it to begin crying.

"He was born for magic my king, not war." the giant spoke with dignity.

"So this child is worthless... No bring him to me later and get me Aðalbrandr." he began to leave and turned back around."This sad excuse of a child might be proven to be worthy to live but a bit longer."

The healer's finished cleaning the child and tried to hand him back to his mother. The mother stared long at the child, but not in affection but of sadness. He couldn't bring himself to hold a child that will be taken within the day or the next if lucky. Fárbauti shook his head and refused the child, his child, from the healer.

"Do not give the child to me, if I were to hold him I would become attached. That would cause problems later on. He stood and patted the boy on the head. "I will be content to know that my husband has let him live even if I shall not be by his side, may he be safe." Fárbauti left though the same door as his husband.

"Yes my king." the healer spoke quietly.

The healer fed the child as they waited to be called into the room where there king was meeting with Aðalbrandr. They did not know who he was but they heard tale that he was the best magic welder there was. As the time past by and the sound of war was getting closer did the doors opened and they brought the child in. Laufey motioned for them to placed the sleeping baby on the table in front of them and left at the kings command.

"Can it be done, Aðalbrandr." Laufey asked and his husband stared. Fárbauti had gone back to his room to rest when his husband called him down to be present during the meeting, it would help them defeat Odin and bring ruin to Asgard. He was worried for his child's safety but held his tongue, he was no good to his child dead. "I know Odin likes to help the weak and my child is just that." Laufey watched the baby squirm around and frowned.

"Yes it can be done but you will not have direct control, I shall be the one." Aðalbrandr spoke in a monotone voice that sent child's down Fárbauti spine. "I will implant a piece of my mind into his and it will grow stronger as he does. The piece I shall implant will take enough to make sure that the child is weak for our control and then all you have to do is tell me what you want him to do and when."

"What is he speaking of?" Fárbauti asked his husband "What are we going to do to the child?"

"Fárbauti, he is going to put a piece of himself deep within the child. The child will grow and never know what is inside of him. Once I see that Odin is weak we shall strike and use the child." Fárbauti let out a small gasp. "We will chose when to control the child so he shall have the 'happy' childhood you what him to have." Laufey said.

"If you don't mind, I shall start. It won't be painful for me but the child...I cannot speak for it." Aðalbrandr smiled which showed off his yellow tinted teeth. The child began to cry and scream at the intruding piece, his mind tried to reject it but was too weak to do so. The piece of mind dove deep into Loki’s underdeveloped mind and push until it was in the very center. The child had been quiet due to passing out because of the pain. "It is ready, I shall stay here and wait this out with you my king."

The war and finally reached his homeland as they were pushed back from Midgard. Laufeys' warriors were fighting to keep their homeland safe from the intruders, but Laufey had his own plans. As the war got more intense Laufey called a surrender after taking one eye from the great Odin; he had marked a god and shown that they could bleed. For him it showed just how weak he was and how his plan was to work if he left them be without ending it right there and then. 

"Odin you have won, now leave my homeland!" Laufey yelled and his men surrounded him, he knew this was to pass and was ready for the second part.

"Yes but we shall also take the Casket of Ancient Winters with us." Odin yelled and Laufey was surprised, that was not seen or thought that it could be possible.

"You...can...not!" Laufey yelled and stood, his warriors ready to attack once again. Odins' army was ready as well. "Just leave, but mark my words I shall have my revenge and my Casket back!" he turned his back on odin and went back into the mountains.

As the army's were leaving a crying was heard off in the distance. Odin and three of his men followed him to find the cause of such a cry. As they approached a broke and abandoned building, a child was wrapped in a blanket nude and crying. As Odin men pointed their weapons at the child Odin put up his arm to stop them. 

"It is but a child and can not harm us. Did you see anyone around here?" he looked at the child, it was so small. "This child it much too small for a Frost Giant."

"No my king, but the only birth on this land that was spoken about was done by Fárbauti, Laufey’s husband." a soldier said.

"I see," Odin picked up the crying baby, it was a boy and it's blue skin and red eyes changed to a pale texture and bright green eyes, he began to gargle at the man. Odin couldn't help but smile. "You will never speak of this to anyone, this is now my child and will one day help unite the two realms." The soldiers bowed as they would never breath a word this to anyone.

He headed back to the rest of his army and made them take the same oath as the others, this small boy will now be his to care and grow as his own. He held the baby close at heart and began to laughing causing Odin to smile down at him. "Open the Bifrost!" he yelled and a beam of colors fell all around them and soon they were home to Asgard. As the others left to go to their wives and children he turned to the gate keeper. "I know I do not need to ask but this is a secret best not told." the gatekeeper bowed.

Looking around once again he saw the drastic differences from Asgard and Jotunheim. Jotunheim was a cold and barren place that held no appeal to anyone, not even the frost giants as they tried to take over Midgard. Asgard had a lively, warm and safety feel to it, many people that have come here almost never want to leave. At the end of the rainbow bridge was his wife, she never left the castle but today she came just for him.

"Odin, my husband. I am glad you are back." his wife, Figga, approached him. "Is that a child and what of your eye?" she asked

"Yes My heart, this is the son of Laufey and Fárbauti. He shall one day bring peace between the realms but for now he is our child, if you'll have him." Odin hand her the child. "As for my eye, Laufey took it during battle but we made peace for now."

"He is beautiful baby boy, of course I shall care for him as my own." she smiled and began to laugh. "I know I asked for more children but I didn't think you'll be the one to bring one to me." Odin began to laugh as well.

"Now where is my other son Thor?" he laughed and they walk home with their new child in hand.

"What is his name?" Frigga asked as they approached their home.

"He does not have one but we shall think of one together, what of DiúRi?" he asked as the servants opened the doors.

"I like Loki, would you like your name to be Loki?" she asked the baby and he began to gargle. "That is a yes." she laughed.

"Loki it is. Loki second prince of Asgard, welcome home." Odin spoke loudly. They opened the door to Thors' room "And this is your new big brother, Thor first prince of Asgard."

"Father, who is that?" a young blond boy asked from his bedroom door, almost four in age.

"This, Thor, is your new brother, you'll have to protect him and show him how to be one of us." Odin said and Thor smiled widely.

"Yes father, I've always wanted a brother. What is his name?" Thor moved from his bed to his mother to look at his new baby brother.

"Loki, my dear son." Frigga said as she let Thor look over the baby.

"He's pretty." Thor rubbed Loki's' head which caused him to smile. "My brother."


	2. 2

Chapter two

6 years later.

"Brother, it is because you are crazy!" Thor yelled as he ran down to the throne room with a crying Loki on his trail.

"No! Brother, please. You promised not to tell." big tears were running down his face.

"But I need to tell mother and father that you are crazy!" He was determined, he needed to get help from his younger brother.

"Thor, I am not..." Loki tripped over his small feet and began to cry loudly. Thor stopped and back to see his younger brother laying on the ground in in pain.

"Brother!" Thor yelled and ran back to help. He picked him up and looked him over, just a scratch on the knee was all. "I am sorry brother but I must tell mother and father so they can help you.” Thor smiled and patted his head.

"They will not hate me?" big green tearful eyes looked into blue, Thor loved his brothers eyes.

"No, they will help." Thor smiled and Loki gave returned a watery smile.

"Help with what my dear sons?" Frigga asked as she approached her sons. Taking in their looks. Loki was small with creamy white skin, hair short that was pitch black and bright green eyes that shined; in contrast to his brother whose skin looked as the sun god had kissed it, eyes as blue as the sea and golden hair.

"Mother, Loki is c...sick." Thor couldn't say crazy, that would hurt his baby brother.

"Sick how?" she asked as he kneel down before them.

"Mother he speaks of a voice in his head, he tells me that he can hear them at night and day." Thor frowned.

"Thor, go and play while I talk to your brother." Thor kissed her and Loki before running off with his toy sword. "Now my son, let us go to my garden and talk." she held his hand as they walked.

Frigga's garden was known to be the most beautiful in all the nine realms, only family and the truly lucky were invited to see her wonders. She had tried to bring Thor once but he was too brutal and did not care for such 'girly' things as he had told his mother. Loki on the other loved the garden and would help his mother whenever he could to tend and rid it of weeds. 

"My son, now tell me of this voice?" Frigga asked as they sat under a tree.

"Only I can hear them, they are boys." Loki said and looked to see Thor running around and battling fake monsters. "Thor says I am crazy because he doesn't hear him." Loki's eyes filled with tears.

"Is the voice mean or nice?" Frigga asked, she has heard of children that are lonely to make up a friend but sometime forget they had and get scared but the voices are never mean. Thor, unlike Loki, had many friends and went out much more so he had no need for make believe friends.

"No, they are nice. They tell me that I am good." Loki smiled and that put Frigga’s fear to rest.

"The voices are normal my son, but try and talk to more children your age." she patted him on the back and stood up. "Go and pay with your brother." she watched as he ran off to pay with Thor. Yes he would be just fine she thought.

~Years later~

Loki laid on his bed with his head in his hands as he pulled at his hair. The headaches were worse now, they tormented him whenever he learned new spells from his mother. It felt as if something was taking his energy and draining him dry. He stopped talking to Thor and his mother about them since no remedy could be found to lessen or stop them. The voice had long since gone but now it was something much worse, he could feel that someone was there. It wasn't a strong presence but he knew they were there. As the year had gone by he never really got to close with people, he loved his brother dearly but something wouldn't let him express it or show it. Anytime he felt like going and talking to his brother or father something pulled him back. The feeling wouldn't let him get too close and then he would become angry out of no where. When the anger came he would yell and fight with Thor but what was worse was when he wanted to talk to his father he couldn't find his voice or better yet his voice just stopped.

"Loki?" he heard his mother's voice on the other side of the door.

"Yes mother, come in." he straighten himself out and picked up a book next to him.

"Are you well, you left quickly after the lesson." she sat on the corner of his bed.

"I am well other just wanted to leave before Thor and his friends go there." he said as he flipped the page.

"Are they still bothering you my son?" she asked, Loki has been bothered the other kids and Thor's friends the most.

"Not just them. Mother I am smaller than most and no good in fighting, I can only learn magic." he sighed. "I love magic but I wish I was as big and strong as Thor and his friends. Even Sif is bigger than me!" he put his head in his hands.

"I see." Frigga said and looked around. She knew that one day it would come to this. "I know that everyone wants to be big and strong but remember that you help them with your magic and your knowledge. That is more powerful than anything that I know of." she smiled and Loki grinned as well.

"I love you mother." he hugged her and rested his head on her shoulder.

"And I love you my child." she kissed his head. "Come let's go and see how your brother is doing with his friends."

"I would but I want to finish my book." Loki smiled as his mother left. He hated to lie but he just wanted to be alone even though he's never truly alone.

Loki closed his eyes and could feel the presence once again, it was eating him up on the inside. There were times when he couldn't remember how he got places or why. Sometimes he ended up in the weapons room or on rainbow bridge. He was scared, felt alone and knew it was because of the voice he once heard. Silent tears fall as he felt that the presence was stronger and darker but he didn't want to be dark.

~Later that night~

"Brother?" Thor was going to go out for a walk when he saw his brother walking out of his room. Loki's normal bright green eyes were glazed over giving them a grey look. "Brother where are you heading to?" Thor ran over but Loki kept walking, not even noticing him.

'Maybe he walks in sleep.' Thor thought as he laughed and followed him. Loki head down the familiar halls and down the stairs to the weapons vault. Thor laughed as he followed behind him, pulling him to different rooms and watching Loki walking around lost. Once in the weapons room Thor saw Loki head to the Casket of Ancient Winters and run his hands over the top. The laughing stopped as Thor pulled Loki away.

"Brother! You know we are not to touch that." Thor yelled as his grip was strong on Loki’s arm. His eyes lost the hazes and Loki panicked.

"Where am I!" he yelled and Thor let him go. "Thor, what are we down here?"

"Brother, I think you walk in the realms of dreams. Do you want to see a healer?" Thor asked and laughed at the stare Loki gave him.

"I do not." Loki walked away and Thor followed.

"But I have seen you my brother, I shall walk you to your room." Thor and Loki walked in silence until they got to Loki's room.

"Thank you Thor and goodnight." Loki said from his door.

"You are welcome but make sure to lock your door next time!" Thor yelled and walked off.

Loki walked over to his bed and sat down. The blackouts, as he called them, were getting worse. Not only did he go where he did not want to but now he was was able to see himself and not stop. He cried into the furs of his bed, Thor had brought them for Loki on his birthday last year. They were black and very soft, Loki's favorite of them all.


	3. 3

Chapter three

It was a living nightmare, the day he was on at Jotunheim with his brother -Thor. Since that day he has been in a fog like place watching himself do such horrible things. He pushed his father into an Odinsleep, killed his true father, and tried to kill Thor. He didn't want to, he tried to plea but the one controlling was relentless. He twisted his pleas into horrible lies, he tried to regain control but every slip caused him to much pain. For a year after he almost killed his beloved brother and father were he'll for him. The one pulling the strings, Aðalbrandr, took his magic from him, forced him to do evil.

'Stop! Please this Midgardians have done us no wrong!' Loki yelled as he watched himself kill the innocent.

'This is why you were allowed to live, your father was just weak as you. He deserved to die, he just wanted Asgard but I want all nine realms!' Aðalbrandr yelled at Loki.  
'My brother will stop you!' Loki yelled

"That stupid good for nothing brother of yours will die! He is weak and he will kill you, he hates you now." Aðalbrandr began to laugh. 'Even if he let's you live he and the all father will never believe that this happened to you."

'I hope I die, and if I live I will hunt you down and repay you for the lives you have taken and tried to!' Loki stood tall in the mist.

As a great pain shot through his whole body he watched as the arrow he had caught exploded and send him flying into a window. His body, or the one controlling him, showed no pain but he was in so much pain it made him scream on the inside. A huge green man came up to him and grabbed him, Aðalbrandr let Loki go, and began to slam him up and down on the ground. He could feel bones break, muscles clench but a great relief as his mind was now free. Loki let the darkness claim him and when he awoke to his arms being bounded and his mouth sealed.

"Loki, we are returning home." Thor spoke but his voice was lost in malice which caused Loki to flinch. Thor held held onto his shoulder in a bruising way. His shoulder was burning with the hold and watched as the light from the rainbow bridge shine on them. "Take him to the throne room." Thor yelled as guards surrounded him.

The guards grabbed him roughly while half dragging and outing him to the throne room. Once in front of his father, brother and mother was the mouth restraint released. His father stared with such disappoint and resentment that it hurt him. His mother was full of tears and sadness which burned him but Thor's made him want to die. His stare was of pain, hurt and hatred.

"Loki of Jotunheim, what do you have to say for yourself." the words stung him.

"Father it was not me, you have to believe me! Mother please..." Loki said with desperation.

"Was not you!" Thor yelled as he walked next to him "So tell me then frost giant," Loki flinched "was someone disguised as you with a spell on you that none of our healer's could see!" he yelled and spit flew.

"Yes, I was under a spell put by Aðalbrandr! Mother you know I am no monster." Frigga cried and Odin send her away.

"Leave my heart out of this!" his voice boomed. "Loki of Jotunhiem, you are a liar and a murderer. You have betrayed your people and me. I would send you to death but that is too kind of an offer."

"But father...." Thor felt annoyed all of a sudden and punched him in the face with all his force.

"He is not you father, she is not your mother and I am not your brother!" Thor yelled and Loki held his jaw but nodded.

"As I was saying. You are here by sentence to be a prisoner and treated as such. You will be fed what the others are fed, treated as the others and," Odin didn't want to say it but had to "And tortured as the other for information or until you life ends."

Loki's eyes widen and tears grew, he would protest and argue but his jaw hurt to much. As the guards surrounded him and put on the magical bracelets that would stop his magic from being used. He wanted to due, Asgard torture was only reserved for the most vile villains out there, and now he was one of them. "Wait," odin's voice boomed yet again. "Thor my son, as Loki has tried to kill you not once but twice you shall do the first of his punishment as a prisoner." Loki shivered.

"Yes father." Thor inclined his head. "I'll be down soon, get him ready." Thor spoke as he left.

Loki was in a room off to the side were the prisoners were kept deep within Asgard. He was strapped to the chair with guards around at every port waiting for their prince. As the time felt like years Thor walked in in fresh clothes, healed, and with an angry look upon his face. He paced back and forth watching Loki with a fierce look. He held his hand in his hands and clenched his hands around his hammer.

"As I know the prisoner very well I know that he is proud of his silver tongue remarks and his magical, writing and artistic hands. As I have already hurt his jaw I will break for his hands." Loki felt a lump in his throat, he was known for his beautiful scripture and artistic ways. "Guards hold his hands, I will use Mjolnir but not at full force." Loki began to sweat with the fear and knowledge of pain to come.

"Please..." Loki didn't fight back as the guards held his hands in place and Thor reader himself.

"Is that want the Midgardians said to you before you killed them!" Thor yelled as he dropped Mjolnir on his first hand, the sound of the bones breaking at once made the guards flinch but the pain filled scream Loki gave hurt the most. Thor watched as his brother cried and withered in pain, he hesitated but moved to the next.

Loki's hands were red, purple and blue; he couldn't move them even to save his own life. Thor looked around once before leaving the room, he looked to the side and saw his mother; she was crying and had hands over her ears. Loki was then forced back to his cell and left there. He curled up in the corner furthest from the guards and cradled his broke hands to his chest. He let his tears fall, they didn't want him anymore; given the chance and no trial, he was sentence to the worst. 

Loki kept count of the days but stopped when the real torture began, all he knew was that not even half a year had passed. They interrogated him everyday, asking him the same questions and he would give the same answers. After the fifth questioning and e re-breaking his hands Loki never spoke again. The guards had lied to Thor that Loki tried to hurt them, when Loki denied them so he re-broke his hands. His food was always laced with poisons, sickness or bugs, he doesn't trust anyone anymore. 

"Allfather, we come with a request of the three months protocol for prisoners of Asgard!" the guard spoke loudly. 

"What do you wish to ask?" Odin spoke.

"The prisoner does not speak so we ask if we follow the protocol of the prison..." Odin interrupted.

"If the protocol calls for it to be then it shall!" Odin yelled.

"We wished to ask since he has been to first prisoner of such treason since long ago." the guard said.

"What does the protocol say to do?" Odin has never had a prisoner since his rule and was not sure what it called for.

"The removal of the tongue, sir." the second guard spoke "It must be done by a healer and he mustn't be under." Odin closed his eyes.

"Do what must be done." the guards stared at the all father before leaving to gather the prisoner.

The healer's room was prepared and Loki was brought up in chains. Loki was awoken mere moments before and forced to walk to the healer's rooms. At first Loki thought he was going to receive help but he knew that prisoners didn't get such treatment. As he waited outside the door the chains on his wrist hurt his already broken and bruised hands. The doors opened and Loki was pushed inside and strapped to a slanted chair. His head was held in place and couldn't even budge it if he wanted to. A moment later his mouth was forced open by clamps and his tongue was being held by another, he knew what was going to happen and began to try and fight. Thor walked in and stared at Loki before talking to the healer. 

"Father has asked that you try and keep him silenced, mother doesn't know and his screams hurts her." he turned to leave but approached where Loki laid. "Even as a prisoner you harm my mother, you deserve this and much more- frost giant." Thor spat at him and left.

Tears fell from his eyes and he bit back the screams that were to come. The healer grabbed the instrument of choice and approached, her eyes were full of sorrow but an order was an order. She grabbed the clamp and pulled the tongue out, and stared into Loki's eyes as a way of saying sorry. She slid the cutting instrument down and watched as the blood flowed, she had to repeat the same movement of sliding it across as the muscle was thick and strong. Loki bit back every scream but couldn't kept his tears back. He was ready to pass out from the pain when the healer stopped the bleeding but not the pain, he was thrown back into his cage.

~three years later~

"Father I head to Jotunhiem, the rumors are to be true. A man there has killed four of our men so I and the warrior three head there." Thor said loudly. 

"I see, you will not start anything unless it is to bring that man here alive." Odin spoke from his chair.

"Yes father." Thor bowed and left to the rainbow bridge.

Thor past by a familiar door that was sealed, his mother had sealed Loki's room up after his sentence. It was not sealed by magic but a lock on the door. He was going to keep walking but couldn't help himself, he broke open the door and wales in. The room was clean as always, books everywhere that Loki loved to collect and that the would bring him to surprise him. His bed still had the fur pelt he got him for his birthday years ago. His hatred boiled once again and he bang to trash the room. He ripped the books, the fur, his clothes and bed. By the time he finished the room was destroyed, the boos ms were beyond repair, his clothes were shreds, fur was everywhere and his bed was just a pile of rubbish. He felt better.

"Thor?" he heard someone say and turned, fearing it was his mother. It was Sif. "If you are finished we must be going." she put her hand on her chest and bowed.

"Yes let us go." he spoke and closed the door once again.

Thor, Sif and the warrior three met at the rainbow bridge where they were sent to Jotunhiem. The place was still barren, lonely and cold. For the others they hated them for what Loki had done and also because of the monsters that lived there. Thor hated the place for it reminded him of Loki all the time. They walked further into the land of the monster. and looked for a hooded man, he was a man of magic like Loki and very powerful. They knew not his name but what he looked like and his cause.

"Stay together and keep your eyes open." Thor said and they were off to look for the criminal.


	4. 4

Chapter four

"Thor I see that monster!" Sif yelled and ran towards the retreating figure.

"Do not kill him! Father wants him alive." Thor said with a much malice that he could muster. "I want him alive." Thor whispered

Sif ran while the warrior three battle his monsters and allusions that's were in their way. She was so close and Thor was right behind her, his hammer ready to kill him if needed. Jumping he slammed his hammer on the ground which caused the hooded man to fall and Sif to be able to restrain him. As the other came close the watched as the hood was off, he was blue just like the rest of the Jotunhiem people. As they began to cuff and tie him up the man began to laugh.

"Why do you laugh?" Thor asked in frustration.

"Because... I am so weak from years of getting back at you and Odin!" he began to laugh maniacally.

"What do you mean? Me and my father have suffered nothing or have met you." Sif stopped him from killing him.

"Oh you have suffered, three years of feeling betrayal by someone you love. You and your father have punished an innocent man for nothing and it eats you up on the inside what you did to him." Thor eyes set on a glare.

"What do you mean by innocent?" Thor's heart began to sped up.

"I mean Loki." he laughed as the warriors glared.

"Loki is guilty and punished for his crimes. We all saw him do the acts so cold heartedly." Fandral yelled.

"I told him you wouldn't believe him, and I was right." he looked at them "My name is Aðalbrandr and I'm sure Loki has said my name before." Thor and the rest of them paled and blood ran like ice. That name which Loki yelled during torture, in his sleep and who they thought was fake until now.

"No...what did you do!" Thor yelled. So long has his brother cried during torture and proclaimed this man as the one behind of all his evil deeds. Thor never believed him, yelled at him and last time that name was said, Thor had broken Loki's leg.

"Tell us now!" Hogun yelled while he held back Thor.

"I'm sure he told you of a voice as a child, a presence that never left." Thor froze "When he was born his father and I...came up with an idea. We let Loki live as a child only for the husband of the kings liking, but afterwards we made him do what we wanted. He had no say or way to stop us but oh...how he begged me to stop to let his beloved family live."

"No..." Volstagg whispered. He had seen the torture that both Odin and Thor approved, the torture Thor himself brought upon his baby brother.

"Yes! He begged and cried to let him go. Pleaded but oh how it must eat you up on the inside. He begged you Thor, begged you to believe him as you once did. Oh but you said....he wasn't your brother." Thor couldn't think straight. "You and Odin threw him out, disowned him, hurt him and were quick to believe he was evil not even giving it a second thought. Did you not think it was strange how from one day to another he just became cold, heartless and not himself?"

"Shut your mouth, I will see that your suffering twice...no a hundred times more then my brother has." Thor dragged him

"I wonder if Loki even thinks of you as a brother or anything other than the person who tortured him." he laughed.

As they walked back to to where they would be able to return home Thor couldn't think. His brother, the one he swore to protect, was innocent and tortured for years and he helped. Thor felt sick and held onto Aðalbrandr tightly, he would make sure that he would suffer a hundred times more than what his brother had suffered. When they arrived Thor dragged him to the throne room and threw him at his father's feet and paced angrily.  
"Tell him what you told me!" Thor yelled and Odin saw the desperation.

"It was worth my magic almost drying up, I would do it again." he laughed and began to tell his tale. "Odin tell me. How do you feel knowing you have sentenced your son, innocent son, to be tortured?" he began his tale.

Odin sat with a stone white face, his eyes never moving as he thought of how he treated Loki: his son. He would sentence that man to killed but that was to easy, but instead to suffer the worst torture that they could inflict on him for the next century! He went to his wife and told her of the new information and she broke down, she sat and cried but then stood. The three walked down to the prisoners ward and were led to Loki's cell. Thor, Odin and Frigga saw a small lump by the corner on the cell that was barely moving.

"Open...open the cell!" she yelled and ran inside.

"My heart he must go to the healer's ward and get help." Odin watched as his wife cried.

"Mother, is he sleeping?" Thor asked and his mother moved him so he was laying on his back.

"mauhh...." Loki's broken voice whimpered and his eyes opened and when he saw his mother he began to cry. "mahh..." Frigga noticed his missing tongue and gave a choked cry. His broken hand tried to reach for her but he passed back out.

The site of of her beloved son broken tore her and she ran to her husband. She began to hit him and yell; Odin could just stand there and let her, she had begged for his release to be allowed to see him but he denied her. When she grew weak she left to the healers ward to help prepare a room for her son. Loki held his hands to his chest, his fingers crooked and bloated; Thor wanted to be sick again, his heart clenching. His face and most of his body that they could see was colored with greens, blues, purples and faded yellows. Odin, as king, never got on his knees for anything or anyone but at the sight of his son and him responsible: dropped to his knees. Thor slowly picked up his brother and walked out with his father to go to the healer's ward. Thor laid his brother down gently and softly ran his hands down his face. 

"What is he suffering from? Is it reversible?" Thor asked the healer as she became back outside.

"His hands will have to be re-broken and let heal in the right position but they will never be the same, he will have to learn to reuse them. His tongue can be brought back but it will be painful so that will have to wait until his is stronger." She became quiet and gathered her thoughts. "He is very malnourished and not to mention the mental strain put on him. When he wakes up he won't be the same. He will be frightful, weak like a child. He will need time and a good place to heal. He will be awake tomorrow."

"Father, can I take Loki to Midgard?" Thor asked the man seated next to him.

"The people will view him as dangerous, my son." Odin spoke in a low voice.

"No, my friends there can help. I'll go and explain, they will listen and understand." Thor had hope in his eyes.

"Okay but I what to talk to him before you take him tomorrow.

"Of course, I am leaving then." Thor stood and left.

~Midgard~

"Thor, all is well I hope." Nick Fury said as he let Thor into his car, they told him of an electrical storm and rush.

"No..I need to talk to the avengers and you but together." Thor had a serious face since he arrived.

"They are all at stark tower, but can I know of what it is about." nick asked as he changed routes.

"When we are all together I will, I even brought proof." he pointed a the large metal box and a pile of paper works.

"Very well then." nick made a sharp turn.

The ride was quiet and nick was very worried of what could make this jolly man so serious. When they arrived at stark tower Thor moved the metal box inside the room and sat down to stare at the wall. Nick accept the drink from Tony and Steve tried to talk to Thor. Natasha and Clint arrived not to long afterwards and Bruce with them. They sat down and waited for the prince to speak. 

"Thor, is this about Loki? Has he escaped?" Steve asked and Tony snorted.

"Should have left him to us. We would have showed him true fear and he would never escape." Tony said and Thor stood up.

"Shut up!" Thor's face was red "He...he was innocent!" tears fell from his eyes.

"How? We saw him kill them." Natasha looked at him "How do we know you aren't being controlled."

"He was the one being controlled. He...he has been in prison and torture for three year for nothing! I broke his hands twice, and he'll never be able to even write like he used to, create the beautiful artwork he was known for. We cut out his tongue, I watched and told him that was what he deserved." Thor was balling and the team just watched him.

"Thor, can you prove this?" Nick asked, he hadn't seen the god cry before now.

"This is his medical report." He tossed them the papers. "We had them written so you can understand them."

Tony took the papers and made Jarvis read it to them while giving them explanations. They waited for Jarvis to analyze them and read them first. 

"Jarvis, you got them?" Tony asked

"Yes. Loki hands have been broken twice which caused them to heal wrong, re-breaking and reforming was done. He is severely malnourished, different poisons found within. Dehydration, internal and external damages and bleeding. Femur broken and healed incorrectly, re-broken and limp will be unavoidable. Tongue missing, regrowth possible in time. Side note: tongue removed with him conscious and no medical help given for pain but bleeding stopped soon after." Jarvis said and paused. "Signs of sexual abuse found around the oral cavity. That is all." everyone stayed quiet.

"This," Thor banged on the metal cage ",is the one behind this!" he broke the door and dragged the man out who had a wicked smiled on his face. "Tell them of what you told me and my father. Tony use the machine that tells us when one lies, he hasn't any magic and is week from earlier." the man was bleeding and hurt but didn't care.

The man told them the story of what Loki's real father and him planed. Who he betrayed him and used Loki to kill him, and forced him into invading earth. The team was quiet, they would never have believed him but tony's machine never was wrong and that man was just happy to retell his tale.

"I came here to ask if me and Loki could stay. He needs a place away from his torture, our guards, someplace good." Tony was the first one up.

"I for one want to get to know the real Loki." he smiled and the rest stood up.

"He...when he took control over my mind he made sure me and the doctor had food to eat and a place to sleep. He healed up any damages done to us. I didn't want to view him as kind but now I know why." Clint spoke and Natasha touched his arm. "He never spoke to us but even if be did we couldn't have done anything."

"Yes.". They turned to the man on the ground. "My magic was getting weak so to rest I let him free from time to time, instead of running away he helped the pathetic slaves I had." he spat at Clint, they ignored him.

"Bring him over Thor, though he might not be to happy to be with us- me." Bruce laughed.

"I shall, we will be here tomorrow." Thor picked up the man. "I'll take this with me, he has a century of pain to continue."

"Very well Thor," Tony looked around. "Jarvis, prepare a room with lots of green. We are having a guest over with medical need and the other room for Thor."


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Frigga time

Chapter five

Loki felt as if his body was on a cloud. It did not hurt anymore, his hands felt lighter and he had dreamed of his mother. Her touch had felt so real as the warmth still lingered and he wished not to awaken to the reality of his imprisonment. He could hear her singing the lullaby she sang when he was younger and ill, he wanted her back; for her to hug and kiss away his pain. Thor and Odin made it clear that he was worthless scum, he just hoped they would allow him to see his mother before they ended his life.

"Loki?" his mothers voice bounced in his head. "Loki, please open your eyes my love." 

"Muhh..." he remembered, his tongue was taken. He couldn't even voice his pain or pleasure.

Sweetie, it is I your mother. Open your eyes for me." her warm soft hand on his forehead. This must be a dream or a trick by his fath... Odin and Thor.

Loki opened his eyes slowly, the light burned but he saw his beautiful mother and began to cry. He wrapped his arms around her, he was scared and shaking, and when he saw the guards he began to panic. His breathing became erratic and when he tried to covered his eyes he saw bandages over them. 

"Guards, leave and tell my husband that my son has awoken." Frigga ordered and wrapped her arms around her son. When the guards left she turned to her quivering son. "We..they finally believed you my son. We found the one responsible and you are now free." Tears ran down his face.

Free, he always longed for those words but it was a bitter taste to him. His freedom waited until he was broken to come, for his brother and father to hate him, and for so many to die. Loki wished he was dead, killed the day he was found by Odin or when he fell from rainbow bridge. As his mother cooed, and wiped his tears as the healer came to his side. Fear was the only thing he felt, she was the one that took his tongue, made him feel the pain. He began to thrash but when Odin appeared he was full on panicking and passed out back into darkness. This was a just a cruel trick.

"What is wrong with my son?" Frigga asked as she ran her hands through his hair.

"I...he is reacting to the sight of me and his father. Last he saw me I removed his tongue; his father sentenced him to all the pain he was forced to endure. Us together in front of him made his mind think of horrible outcomes causing his panic." she said as she poured some medical beverage made from herbs down his throat.

"How will he react with Thor, Thor himself inflicted some of this pain." Odin asked from the side of his wife. She still refused to met his eyes.

"As I said yesterday he is like a child right now. Taking him to Midgard could make him worse but could also help him, being away from the people who tortured him. With Thor, the same or worse than with us. All I have to say is if Thor is taking him, he must be gentle, no yelling, no sudden movements and no touching." she checked his hands.

Pain, Odin proclaimed it to him and Thor ensured it. Loki couldn't trust them because they made him feel weak, pain and hated. He didn't want to open his eyes but someone was calling to him again. The light still hurt, the smell of herbs grew stronger and most of his pain was gone; just stiffness was left behind.

The healer left but then sent in another for the rest of Loki's stay. Odin had nothing to say for once, no words of wisdom, comfort or hurt. He was responsible for this, how could a king be fooled for so long, how could he not believe his son he raised or see that not all was well. He turned his sorrowful eyes to his heart, soul and love.  
"My wife...I don't not know where to begin." he spoke softly.

"How about I am sorry, I was wrong, Loki please forgive me!" she yelled and stood her ground. "I have always been a good wife, mother and queen."  
"Yes you have." Odin reconfirmed it.

"I asked, no I begged you to rethink your punishment for my son. I begged you every night to let me see him!" tears were falling from her eyes and Odin couldn't bear to look at her. "I begged you to just give me one moment with him but you denied me that. And now I learn that you let my sons tongue got cut out as if he was an animal!"

"I will never be able to express the sorrow I feel." Odin said. "I will never be able to gain his forgiveness nor yours but I will try until my very last breath."

"His hands." she ignored his proclamation "His art, magic and scripture are gone. The only things I gave him to be my son in all senses is now gone!" she sat down and ran her hands down his hair. "I am not asking but telling you that if you so much as hurt my son again, your last breath will come sooner than you expect."

Odin let his wife's words sink in, he could sentenced her to death for such a statement but if he had been in her place he would say the same. He turned and walked out of the ward, looking one last time at his wife's face. Frigga asked and was granted permission to take her son to his room. She spent three years cleaning them, bring new books to his collection in hopes that one day he would return. She opened the doors and her heart broke, Thor bounced right next to her and froze.

"Mother..." Frigga began to cry, her hard work gone.

"Please tell me you did not do this my son?" she asked in a whisper.

"Mother...I was angry and then I walked inside and...and I am sorry." Thor rubbed his head.

"The one thing I asked, the one thing I ordered everyone not to do and you broke it." she stood, not yelling just speaking. "I asked that no one enter, no one touch and doors to remain sealed. Did you do this because you truly thought your brother a monster?" Thor flinched, he wished for her to yell, scream and hit him. The emotionless in her voice, the lack to fight broke him.

"I did think...but now I know and I am sorry." he hugged her as she cried.

"This was for him, I never believed him a monster." she sobbed "I wanted this to be his one place to return to with happiness and now it is gone." Thor hugged his mother and held her, once her tears dried up he walked her to her room for the night.

Thor woke up to the sounds of blood filled screams ringing down the halls. Not even bothering to get dressed he ran out of his room and down to the healer's ward. Odin was standing by the door and his mother was pushing him out; looking inside he saw his brother was the one screaming. He was curled up in the corner of the room, covering himself with his still bandaged hands and screaming; Odin was yelling.

"Loki, I will not harm you!" Odin yelled and Thor watched Loki flinched and curled in more. "I need to speak with him Frigga."

"No!" Frigga stood tall in front of him. "You are harming him by yelling, he feels threaten and needs time and help to see you as he once did." she spoke softly. "Odin, my husband and king please just let him rest. He has a long trip and I must explain this to him, he will be receiving help and one day will come to speak with you."

"I...I will leave then." Odin back out of the room and down the hall. Thor felt as if he couldn't breath, his brother was this upset with Odin; how would he react to him.

Looking inside the room he watched as his mother approached but waited until Loki jumped into her arms. He seemed so small, broken and lost; it was his fault. He watched as Loki began to calm down, they were expected on earth at noon so he had time to gather what he needed. Frigga was running her hands through his hair and speaking in soothing words to her baby, if she could she would have taken all this pain for him.

"Loki, I will never know how much fear and pain you have or could understand it even if I tried. Thor is going to come in later." Loki tensed and Frigga hugged him closer and tighter "I know, I know. He is going to take you somewhere that will help you. He is taking you to Midgard. My son they know you are innocent and will not hurt you."

"Mother, this is the clothes for him." Loki began to shake but would not look him in the eyes "They also gave me this...chair with wheels for him, it will allow him to move without walking." Thor watched his brother shake and his mother gave him a weak smile

"Thank you Thor, go get ready for your trip and I will help Loki." Thor smiled and left "Loki my son, I know I have no right to ask you this but please go there and get better. Smile as you once did, play pranks, and return to me." Loki nodded. "I will tell Thor not to let anyone touch you unless you give your okay, even him."

Frigga helped Loki into the Midgardain clothes; a pair of loose black jeans, a green t-shirt and some shoes. The chair was a mystery to her until it unfolded. She lowered him into the chair and began to push him outside, they had sometime before they left and she wanted to spend it in her garden. It was as Loki remembered, the fresh air with the sweetest fragrance, the green grass with running water throughout it. This has always been his place of safety.

"I will miss you but I know that when you do return you will be stronger than ever." she smiled at Loki, "I have and always will believe you. In two days time Thor will be able to apply the stones that will help you regrow your tongue, it will be painful and i am sorry. If...if I could go back and take this form you I would in a heartbeat. I would endure hundreds of years of torture just so you never had to." Frigga cried and Loki reached over. His hands unable to help in anything but he knew that at least he could do this for her, he wiped away her tears.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I reread the chapter and found most of my mistakes but I know there are still some. I hope you still enjoy it.

Chapter six

"My son, it is time for you to go." Frigga began to push the chair of wheels. On their way to the bridge Frigga hid them from others. Loki was not ready for large groups of people; it could overwhelm him to the point of a panic attack. "My son, I have instructed Thor to keep his distance but he will have to hold onto this chair on wheels." Loki nodded.

"Mother." Thor announced, Sif and warrior three where there to say goodbye. When they saw Loki, who is but a shadow of who he was, they did not like it or felt it unfair of what happened to him. "Loki, I will never lay a hand on you. No one will unless need be. I will hold onto the chair until we land then afterwards a lady is to take you to your room." he spoke softly but made no advance towards him.

"Loki, no one from here will be with you. I will come visit you later." she smiled "Maybe by then you will be able to tell me your tales as you once did."

Frigga gave her son one last hug and walked outside the machine. She watched as it began to spin and turn until a rainbow light shot out. Her son was gone- for now. Odin stood in his throne room and said a silent goodbye as the light shined brightly. Turning his attention back to court in front of him. There stood the guards that were in charge of punishing Loki.

"How do you plea?" Odin asked and his wife reappeared next to him.

"Not guilty." they said together. "You said to punish him accordingly and we have, we do not deserve this because you falsely imprisoned him and feel sorry."

"Yes I have punished him without the proof needed but that does not excuse your abuse of power. I trusted you as members of this court and the sons of my comrades." Odin looked around and drew breath "You abused him sexually, no where in the protocol does it state that is allowed. You lied to my son to anger him to re-punish him because he refused to comply with your atrocious ordered and you have lied to your king!"

"How do you wish to punish them." the father of one of them asked "I for one call for death." the others agreed with him.

"No. That is too simple and my wife wishes for a more painful way for what they have done to Loki." he looked down and watched as they shrank away from the glare. "Your testicles will be tied to horses that will pull them off for the sexual assault. Afterwards you will have your tongues removed as the liars you are and then beheaded before my court and people."

"Odin, when will this happen?" Frigga asked

"Tomorrow my wife." Odin dismissed the court and prisoners. "One day Loki will return. He will come for my death and I will not stop him. Before that I am willing to drop to my knees in front of my court and people, not forgiveness, but to ask him to let me give what weak explanation I have."

"Husband it is late and I wish you to rest." Frigga put her arm on his shoulder.

"You, my wife, I have hurt as well. I do not deserve your forgiveness and I do not ask for it. Actions speak better than words." Frigga gave a weak smile but walked off.

Her family that she made was breaking apart. She worked hard to help rule beside her husband for a strong world but she had failed as a mother. When Loki first spoke of the voice she should have taken him to the healer's not passed it as a child's game. Frigga's one regret will always be that faithful day. The next day Odin had a meeting with his court before the punishment was to be dealt with.

"All father, we know of Loki's innocence but why is he not here?" one of his court members asked.

"Loki is a strong man and right now he is but a shadow of who he was. It was my fault but I intend to present him as a hero when he returns. He has gone away to heal and become stronger, when he returns he will get everything he deserves. Be it my death or whatever may please him." his court stayed quiet as Odin made his way outside "Come, we have a punishment to watch."

~Midgard~

"Pepper, when they arrive you take Loki." Tony spoke from inside the car. There was about six cars as one is for Loki to ride in, his own and the rest of them got one. "As I told you, he is weak at the moment but won't react to well with the rest of us."

"But why me? Won't he react worse with someone he doesn't know?" she asked as she watched the sky for Thor.

"Well no. See Thor was part of the punishment so fear there is expected. With us...well he sorta caused a lot of problems here. He will feel guilt for that and cause him to think we want to hurt him which would cause him to panic and freak out." Tony sipped his drink. "Once he is settled in at the tower we will begin processes to help heal him but as you know some scars are too deep to heal."

"I see, will I take him to the medical room first or his room?" she poured herself a drink.

"Medical room. Just to check him over and make sure he's good." he looked outside but still nothing until he saw the sky getting darker.

"Stark!" Natasha yelled over the intercom "They are arriving." the intercom went hazy and then thunder struck.

The avengers got out of their cars and waited for the gods to appear. They first saw Thor: cape in the air, hair messy and an unreadable look. In the wheelchair was Loki: hair shorter than when he was on earth, smaller, paler to almost dead looking and tensed. Pepper quickly went to his side and Thor back away.

"Loki?" she asked and the god looked up at her. "My name is Pepper Potts and I will be taking you to the medical room at Stark tower." Loki nodded and looked around. "No one will hurt you, I promise."

As he looked around his eyes landed on Clint, and guilt quickly washed over him. He had forced such a good man to hurt and kill his own. Pepper watched as he began to roll the wheels towards Clint. Loki stared into his eyes and Clint didn't move until Loki dropped to his knees. Clint quickly tried to help up the god but to no use.

"Ooo." Loki whined "Ooo." his own way of trying to say sorry.

"Loki, it's okay. Come on, let's get you up." Clint carefully picked him up and put him back into the chair. "There is no need for you to apologize for something you had no control over." 

"Loki, it's okay." Pepper helped him into the car and got in herself. "This is a car and I will drive us home." she smiled and the broken god. "Don't worry, they all know and don't hold anything against you."

Clint couldn't help but keep staring at the ground where Loki just was. He looked around and saw that the rest of them were staring at him. Loki was too broken, and Clint didn't like that. Where was the god of mischief he heard so much about from Thor, the god that would play pranks on everyone and the one whose magic was above all else.

"Thor, why?" was all he could ask. "Why is he so broken, he is not who you once told us about or saw before."

"The one he was before could once again come back. The one you saw and know will never come back. That was never truly Loki, that was Aðalbrandr." Thor looked away. "When he is better, and he will be, I will give my life to him. He will do with me whatever his heart tells him to do."

"Thor, you're an idiot." Thor glared at Tony. "If Loki is still the man you told us about then he will never sink as low as that. He will not take lives, no matter what. He will surely do something but don't insult him by offering your life to him."

"I will talk to him once he's better" Natasha said "and captain you're with me on this." Steve looked up at his name.

"How can I help? I mean won't he you know...be scared of us?" he asked

"Yes and no. He knows us but he never had a real encounter with us." she spoke. "Banner here Hulked out in him so he is way out. Thor, well you know. Tony here was thrown out a window and Clint here was used." she gave him a small smile. "Also you're great at making people feel safe around you and well I have a psychology degree that needs to be aired out."

"Nat. When he is a bit better can I have a word with him?" Clint asked "I want him to know that I do not hold anything against him and that what happened in the past is in the past." she nodded.

"Thor, how are we going to grow back his tongue?" banner asked and Thor flinched. "I mean is it magic like he does or is it a processes?"

"I was given healing stones. The must be held in the sides of his throat until the muscle is back." Thor pulled the bag out. "It will be painful and takes a long time so whoever does it must be strong."

"What do you mean whoever, aren't you doing it?" Tony asked as he raised a brow.

"I would but he fears me, I would harm him more." he looked away in shame. Loki has every right to fear and hate him. "One of you will have to do this."

"We will figure this out later, for now we have to get to Stark tower." Tony said as he jumped back into his car. "Last one there has to make everyone lunch." the rest of the avengers ran to the cars and the race was on.


	7. 7

Chapter seven

"Well Cap. it seems that you are making lunch." Tony dropped himself on his couch. "I want Mexican, what about you guys?"

"I...how do you make Mexican food?" Steve looked around. He knew how to cook just not foreign food. "Tony come on, something easier."

"I want Mexican so I guess you're off the hook for now." he poured himself a cup. "What do you guys want? Tell Jarvis and he'll order it."

"Tony, come with me." Pepper came out of the elevator. "Now." 

"Fine, fine." he put his cup down and looked around. "Kids, daddy has to leave for a minute so get your orders in."

"Anthony Stark, be mature!" Pepper pulled him into the elevator.

"I am when the time is right." the elevator headed up to the medical rooms. "How is our favorite new patient doing?" he wasn't going to show Loki any pity. He was sure the god wouldn't want people to feel sorry for him.

"He is very well. He should be able to use his hands by tomorrow so some sort of therapy should be started. His leg is healed and almost all of his vitals are great." Pepper looked over her files in astonishment "Thor told us that his magic would heal him up, but the healing and restoration stones will be used in two days for his tongue. I don't know much about that but when his tongue is recovered he will need to get used to food again so nothing too spicy, sweet, or sour."

"What about talking? He is known as the silver-tongued god, I'm sure he'll wanted that back." the elevator stopped and they walked towards a big glass one way window.

"Well he is different than us, he might be able to start talking like nothing or he might need to relearn to talk as well." Pepper turned on the one way glass and Loki came into view.   
Loki was setting up straight and staring at the wall. His body seemed as if it waiting for an attack, his eyes roamed the room, and his hands were in a tight fist. He was well guarded in his ways but Tony knew that if he were attacked at the moment he would last longer than five minutes.

"I'm going in." Tony said and pushed the button for the door, right away Loki looked over and stared. "Loki, it is Tony or Ironman as you might remember."

"Loki, don't worry. He is here to talk to you." Pepper said and sat down next to Loki's bed.

"Thank you Pepper." Tony said sarcastically. "Loki, tomorrow we are going to start therapy for your hands. Also some normal therapy when you are able to speak again. For now I want to say this, and repeat it until you know I am not lying. No one in this tower will hurt you or take revenge for anything you did while under that's sick bastards control."

Loki just stared at Tony, he had thrown him out of his own window and he didn't want revenge. After a staring moment Loki was distracted by his stomach growling. Tony smiled as did pepper but Loki just looked away, he didn't want them to see him so weak and in need.

"Loki, I am going to bring you some warm tomato soup." she stood up and gestured for Tony to follow. "I think therapy should be down by some of our own people." she said as they walked back to the elevator.

"Natasha is great with understand and using people's emotions, she'll help him of course. For hand therapy, maybe Clint. His hands are the sturdiest for his bow work." Tony kept thinking about others that could help. "Steve could also help with the hand therapy and also bring him food." he smiled widely.

"Why not me?" Pepper asked "Jealous he might win me away?" she laughed at his baffled look.

"I'm Tony Stark, I don't get jealous." he smirked and laughed as Pepper rolled her eyes "Steve had the least amount of contact with him so he's up first. Once's he's better we'll take turns keeping him company. I don't want him getting attached, its not good for him right now."

"I see." Pepper made a note of it.

The elevator opened and the smell of Mexican food, Chinese and hamburgers filled the nose of Tony. He made his way to his pile and began to eat, Steve was next to him eating his hamburger. Pepper was in the kitchen making Loki his soup and preparing a tray for him. Tony had to tell them of his plans for them and the injured god.

"Okay, Steve." Steve turned around, his mouth full of the burger he was eating. "You are going to go and help Loki eat his food and with hand therapy." he smiled widely, everyone else just watched him.

"Tony, don't just tell them. You have to explain." Pepper came out of the kitchen. "Soup will be ready in ten. Don't expect them to know everything you planned."

"Okay. Steve and Clint you will be helping Loki with his hand therapy starting tomorrow. Natasha, you will have talks with him once he is able to speak." Natasha cocked a brow. "You have a way with words my dear little spider. Steve, for now he needs some there to help him eat and for some company."

Steve walked over to the kitchen and watched Pepper pouring the soup with a lot of care. The tray was small with the bowl of soup, a glass of water and a book. He looked at the items and began to think, Loki wouldn't be able to shallow without his tongue. He remembered that his neighbor had a cat but during an accident it lost it's tongue. They had the cat put down.

"Ms. Potts, wouldn't Loki be unable to swallow this without his tongue?" Steve asked.

"No but they cut just enough that he wouldn't be able to talk. They left just enough that he would still be able to swallow." Pepper looked down at the food. "I know he wouldn't be able to get the nutrients he needs so he is hooked up to an IV for now."

"Is he.. well okay." Steve didn't know how to ask his questions. "I mean well is he okay with me going down there with him, eating and reading to him?"

"Only if you want to read to him." Pepper smiled at him "He will be a bit withdrawn but it will be good for him to have company. For now you and me will be spending this kind of time with him but afterwards the others will start as well."

"Do you think I will do okay with this. I mean I won't mess up or anything, I think." Steve was confused. Loki was healing and he didn't feel like he was the right man for the choice. "Won't Banner make better company for him, he's smart and...."

"The hulk who bashed him around." Pepper said sternly "You will do just fine, I will be behind the close door for help if need be but I hope you won't." she smiled.

Steve held onto the tray as if his life was on the balance. He was nervous, not because it was Loki but because he could make him worse. When the elevator dinged he jumped a bit but Pepper just smiled. The walked by the big two way window and could see Loki relaxing onto his pillow. He stood outside the door and waited for it to slide open. As it opened he noticed Loki look more alert and guarded. 

"Hey Loki." Steve smiled and walked in. "I brought you some food and a book." he set the tray down and looked into Loki's eyes. "Can I help set you up with some pillows and feed you the soup?"

Loki looked to the tray and back at Steve. He didn't know if he could trust him but he was very hungry. Steve noticed how Loki looked at the tray was distrust and a scared look. He picked up the spoon and swirled the red soup around, and eat a the spoon full. Next he took a quick sip if the water and smiled at Loki.

"It's pretty good." Steve smiled and reached his hand towards the pillows. He stopped and watched Loki for any discomfort and when he saw none he fluffed up the pillows to help him sit up straighter. "I am going to feed you but stop me once you had enough." 

Steve opened some straw packages and put one in the water for Loki. He watched as the god timidly drank and eat the offered meal. Once it was done Steve sent the tray out with Pepper and removed the extra pillows to allow Loki to lay down. He picked up the book, it was 'Tuesdays with Morrie', and opened it to the first page.

"This is a book that is used a lot in colleges, people dealing with loose or just want a good book to read." Steve smiled as he looked over the cover. "Do you want me to read it to you?" Loki stared at him but nodded and turned his head to the side. " The Curriculum. the last class of my old ..." Steve read the whole book to Loki who was now softly snoring. He closed the book and put it next to him, turned off the light to the room and left.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Steve woke up early the next morning. Pepper and Tony had to leave for the day on some official Stark Industry business, and he was in charge of Loki's meals. Him and Clint needed to start the hand therapy so they were going to discuss what to do first. Steve set up the blender and prepared the fruits and water. He grabbed the book Pepper left out and made his way to the medical room. Loki, according to Jarvis, had awoken earlier and was waiting for someone to go down to him.

"Hey Loki, it's me again." Steve smiled widely as he took his seat next to Loki. He put the straws in the fruit shake and drank some before handing it over to Loki. "I brought another book for you, it's called 'Gifts Of the Magi'. It's a great book but short for now."

Steve waited until Loki was finished with his shake and helped him get into a better position. Jarvis ran some test for him and Clint to go over later. Once Loki was comfortable Steve showed him the cover of the book. Once Loki nodded Steve began to tell him a small summary.

"This book is about a young couple and they are going through a tough time. They are each secretly buying each other a Christmas gift." Steve laughed at the confused look Loki gave him. "Christmas comes when winter comes, people get happier and buy present for loved ones. If you're better by then I'll take you out so you can see the decorations, I'm sure you'll love it." Loki gave a small smile and Steve continued.

Loki made sure to stay awake until the very end of the story before falling asleep again. Steve picked up the report Jarvis had for him and Clint. He looked over some of it and made some notes until the elevator dinged. He walked out into the kitchen and began to make himself some breakfast before going out and looking for Clint. Natasha was away on a mission and since Clint stayed back Steve was sure he was on the roof or sleeping in. Steve checked the roof, the training area and his room; no sign. He gave up the search and headed back to the medical room to start Loki's therapy without Clint. As he approached the glass one way window, Steve noticed Clint standing there and watching Loki.

"Clint, I've been looking for you." Steve exhaled as he ran up to him. "Where have you been?"

"I've been here." Clint didn't look away from Loki. "It's just that...I don't know how to go in. I mean when he first arrived he threw himself at my feet!" Clint was upset but Steve couldn't figure out why.

"Why are you so upset?" Steve put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "He didn't mean it in a wrong way."

"I..." Clint sat down on the chair behind him. "I still feel a bit of anger but not towards him. When I try to think of the one truly responsible I can only think of Loki. I shouldn't, he was just a victim as we all were." Clint put his head in his hands.

"I understand, I truly do. This is something that takes time, we aren't expected to forget everything that happen. Take everything we know or went through and just throw it out." Steve smiled at Clint "It's okay to feel like that so never feel guilty for it."

"Do you think I'll be able to do that?" Clint looked up, the guilt had been eating at him since Thor told them the truth. 

"Yes and spending time with the real Loki helps. Loki is still in there but he is full of fear and guilt." Steve stood up and offered a hand to Clint. "Come on, let's go do some therapy."

"Just imagine how Thor feels." Steve froze, he hadn't thought of Thor. He was still upset that this happened and Thor helped. "I mean when he did this he wasn't thinking straight. Do you think Loki could forgive him?"

"When I first learned of this I was mad at Thor. But then I remembered that when Loki was taken we all wanted him to be punished at their full extent." Steve took a shaky breath. "This is their full extent and back then we sought it out. We are all as guilty but none more than that blue bastard Thor brought us."

"You didn't answer my question, do you think Loki could forgive Thor?" Clint looked as Steve.

"I don't know, only Loki himself knows." they head towards the door.

Steve and Clint stood outside the door to gather themselves together. Clint shared his idea for the therapy, to start off as if he was a child learning to eat. Captain liked the idea but also thought of some great hands on exercises for the injured God. After they quickly told each other the plans they opened the doors. Loki gave a small smile when Steve walked in but it disappeared when he saw Clint.

"Hey Loki, Clint came with me today." Steve noticed how Loki became rigid and put on a mask of indifference. "He is here to help with your hand therapy.

"Loki." Clint said and Loki stared at him, guilt rebuilding. "I am not here to ask for an apology or apologize." Steve stared at Clint but didn't comment. Loki looked away in shame.  
"Because there is nothing to forgive. I know you weren't in your right mind. hell someone else was there jet using your body. Don't feel guilty for me because I have moved on and I want us to get to know each other."

"Loki, are you okay?" Steve asked as Loki looked frozen.

He began to shake and they noticed that he was crying. Clint stepped back thinking he hurt him but noticed his smile. It was much more different than the one they saw in New York, full of hatred and malice, this one was full of happiness. After Loki calmed down and stopped crying Steve pulled a chair for Clint to sit closer.

"First Loki we want you to know that this exercises are not made to humiliate you." Clint said and Loki nodded.

"The first step is to remove the bandages on your hands." Loki subconsciously pulled his hands closer to him. "I know it's scary because you haven't moved your hands in a long time but it will be okay." Steve held out his hand and smiled. Loki slowly moved his hands into Steve's and smiled weakly.

"Here cap." Clint threw him medical scissors. Loki tensed but forced himself to relax.

"It's okay Loki. I just need to cut the tape that's holding them together and the rest will be down by hand." Steve slowly cut the medical tape and began to unwrap the hands. Pink tinted skin began to show and Loki couldn't help but smile. "See they are okay." When all the tape was gone they noticed that his fingers were never going to be as straight as they once were.

"Okay Loki, I brought you your lunch." Clint went and pulled out the cucumber soup and a sip cup. Loki stare at the cup with curiosity. "Don't take this the wrong way. All the nervous, tendons and muscles are new and haven't been used. It's like a baby's hand so I thought about you learning those bases first." he smiled awkwardly.

"What he means is that we're going to train you from the first thing we learn to do with our hands." he smiled and Loki nodded. "Okay, try to grab the cup."

Loki was nervous, his body was shaking but he wanted to get better. He moved his hands and was shocked and the feeling of the cup. It was rough and soft but when he tried to grab it- it fell over. Clint picked it up and moved it in front of him again and Loki concentrated even move. He managed to get his hands in the smallholders but he couldn't get his hands to close. After a awhile sweat began to appear on his brow and when Steve reached over to grab the cup Loki closed his hand.

"My god, you did it!" Steve yelled and high fives Clint. "Good, so good Loki. Now drink some of it and next will be the spoon." Loki sucked on the tit of the cup and enjoyed the cool water.

"We moved the soup for now so you don't worry about a mess." Clint put a small metal spoon in front of him. "Don't get frustrated, it will take time and your hand may crap if you work it too much too soon."

Loki stared at the spoon. All Loki could was think of how he used to do these mundane things without a second thought; now he had to plan it out. He moved his hand over it but then his hand just dropped on top of it and concentrated hard for his had to close. It was much harder to grab onto something to small compared to the cup. As he tried to force his hand closed and share pain short through his hand and it began to convulse.

"Crap, he got a cramp." Clint moved the stuff away and Steve helped Loki.

"It's okay Loki, I'm going to massage the cramp away." Steve smiled. He grabbed the soft smaller hand and began to massage it. The hand twitched more but began to calm down. 

"You did very well for your first day. If you don't mind I will feed you the soup." Loki nodded and moved his hand back next to him.

"Later during dinner we'll try this again and when you're better we'll move onto pencils." Clint smiled widely.

"Also Loki, tomorrow we are going to do the stone thing for your tongue." Loki tensed but nodded. "I just want to give you a brief summary for tomorrow. First, it hasn't been decided who will do it. Second, you will be strapped down as we were told the stones can't be moved for ten minutes but since its very painful you'll most likely thrash around." 

Steve gave Loki a sympathetic smile. "On the good side, you'll be able to eat hard stuff again." Loki smiled but it didn't hide the fact that he was still worried.


	9. 9

Chapter nine

"Jarvis, what has our friend been doing lately?" Tony poured himself another drink.

"Mister Odinson has been in his room." Tony raised a brow.

"What no sneaking off to visit Jane." he remarked "What has he been doing?"

"He has told me that he is to take his meals in his room as he is researching." Jarvis said.

"Does he ask for his brother at all?" Tony finished off his drink.

"Yes. He ask me for updates and video footage of his brothers treatment and therapy." Jarvis stop "Would you like to see the footage, sir?"

"No, has he gone to see his brother at all?" Tony put his drink down. For so long has Thor spoken of his brother, how great he was and how much he loves him. Where was that love know? The Thor he knew would have been there banging the door down and demanding to see his little brother. Spewing apology after apology.

"Yes. He went down when his brother was asleep and so where the rest." Jarvis spoke

"Thank you." Tony got up and headed towards the elevator. "Tell them I need them to meet me in the kitchen area to discuss about tomorrow."

"Yes sir."

Tony began to think about tomorrow. They had to choose who was going to hold the healing stones but who was strong enough to hold them there for ten uninterrupted minutes. The elevator opened up and he made his way to the kitchen. Steve and Clint were there first, Banner was coming down the hall but no sign of Thor. As he was about to begin Thor walked out from the hall with a book in his hand. It was a weird sight to see such a big bulky man as Thor have his nose stuck in a book.

"Okay." Tony looked at Thor with curiosity "What are you reading Thor?"

"It is a book about magical items." Thor looked around. "I am looking for a certain artifact." he returned to his book.

"Well, okay big guy." Tony turned to the rest of them. "As you guys know, tomorrow is our favorite guest big day."

"Who have you chosen?" Clint asked from his chair.

"That is why I called you guys here, we have to decide or just who gets the luck of the draw." Tony smiled. "Any thoughts?"

"He will thrash around, no way any of us can stop that." Banner spoke from his seat "Also the stress might bring out the other guys so I am out."

"Yes the thrashing about. The medical bed he will be in will strap him down." Tony brought up a diagram to show them. "It will strap down his legs at these points: his feet, his knees and upper leg. The next set will be from the lower abdominal, the upper and shoulder. The last will be on his arms also three parts." 

"Sounds good, Thor do the stones need to be activated or do they just work?" Steve asked the Thunder God.

"They have been enchanted to work once they are placed on Loki's throat. There are two stones so one on either side." Thor kept reading the book.

"Okay, so any takers on being the stone holder." Tony asked as he looked over the stones. They were small, colorful and he could feel the animosity from them when he held them.  
"I believe Steve Rogers is the best choice." Thor spoke loudly and Steve looked around.

"Why me?" he asked.

"I found it!" Thor yelled he closed the book. They stared as he jumped up. "See my friend, he trust you and you take very good care of him. Also you're the strongest by yourself with no help from anything." Thor smiled to the rest. "I will be back by tomorrow, but I shall return."

"Where are you going?" Thor turned and gave them a sad smile.

"To go and retrieve something that will at least grant me some forgiveness from Loki." with that Thor left.

They stared at the door a while more before separating. Tony went to his lab to tinker with some gadget he was meaning to finish. Pepper had come back so Clint and Steve went to the training room. Clint practiced his accuracy with moving and non-moving objects. Steve was lifting the weights until he just dropped them causing Clint to go over to him.  
"What's wrong? Is it about the whole Loki thing?" Clint sat down next to Steve.

"Yeah, I mean I don't want to be the cause for his pain." he looked at his hands. "I want to protect people with my strength, never was pain an option."

"You're not bring him pain. The stone thing Thor brought from his home are; you're bring him back his ability to talk." Clint put his arm on his shoulder. "You should go and talk to him about this later on."

"I am but I wish there could be another way." Steve looked at the weights. "I have this strong urge to protect Loki, I don't know where it came from and so soon."

"Everyone does. Tony may not show it as much but he cares for the guy. Banner is just waiting for the right time before going and talking to him and now Thor's gone looking for you who knows what." Clint laughed. "The guilt is gone, I mean I don't have any need for it. Also I did a bit of research and asked Thor yesterday."

"What did you ask him about?" Steve looked at him with curiosity.

"Turns out that what happened to Loki was an old punishment. It is saved to the highest treason, the attempted murder to kings and their kin." Steve thought back, Loki tried to kill Thor twice and his father. "Loki also, well you know under the spell, tried to kill us off and enslave most of New York."  
"Couldn't they find out that he was under a spell?" Steve asked him.

"No. The only sign was when he was a child but their mother thought it was a kid thing. The sexual assault was taken seriously though, even if he was still a prisoner, so the men were taken out." Clint continued. "Also, Thor had to break his hands. He was given the first punishment right and if he refused it would have been given to the highest guard, his one of the ones that assaulted him. Thor was given advice to cut the tongue off but he went for something else."

"His hands. But why did he break them twice?" Steve fiddled with his hands.

"The guards lied to him. Prisoners aren't allowed to assault the guards and if they did they get death. Thor didn't want him to get death so broke his hands again. The tongue was cut out when the guards asked them to install the right." Steve looked confused. "It was an old rule but neither Odin or Thor could lose face so they agreed."

"Lose face to who?" Steve stopped his fiddling.

"Well Thor told me that if they showed Loki any lenience then they would have their people revolting." Clint looked away. "Turns out Thor did look for Aðalbrandr but couldn't find him anywhere, so he tried to fill his mind with the knowledge that Loki had lied to them. He forced himself to hate Loki, to believe he was a lair and a murderer."

"Is that why you asked me this morning if Loki could ever forgive Thor?" Clint nodded. "Is he going to tell Loki any of this?" Steve spoke louder.

"I asked and he said no. He doesn't was to use excuses, he wants to win his forgiveness, prove himself worthy of it." Clint looked away.

Steve said his goodbye, walked to the elevator and down to the medical rooms. He watched as Pepper fed Loki while classical music filled the room. Loki looked very calm and at peace which caused Steve to sit outside and wait for Pepper to leave. As the music played on Steve felt himself begin to relax, the music was so peaceful.

"Steve, are you waiting?" Steve opened his eyes and saw Pepper next to him.

"Yeah I was going to talk to Loki, was I asleep?" he rubbed his eyes.

"Yeah, don't know how long for though." she laughed. "He is awake now, you can visit him." she waked to the elevator. Steve stretched before walking over to the door. He waited before entering the rooms and to his usual chair next to Loki. 

"Hey." Steve smiled "We are not doing anymore excesses until maybe the day after tomorrow." Loki smiled a bit " For tomorrow I was chosen to carry out the healing. I want to apologize for any pain you will be under and also for the restraints we are going to use." Steve looked away. He never wanted to be the cause for someone else pain, especially if their innocent. He looks up when a hand touches his, Loki was trying to reassure him. 

That night, no one slept much. Tony was the first one up and he was checking the medical bed for Loki. Steve was picking at his food while Clint ate anything he could. Banner took off, the stress was not good for the other guy. Thor hasn't returned but the day was still young and it's not like he could help with Loki. When they were done Tony came up to gather them. Loki was on the new bed but not strapped yet, he was sitting down and wait for them.

"Okay, family reunion time." Tony smiled. "Steve already told you most of what's happening. This bed that you are on, will strap you down so try not to fight just yet."

"Loki, we don't know what will happen. You could either talk or you might have to learn a few new things." Clint smiled. "Don't worry, me and Cap here will help" 

"Any questions Reindeer Games?" Loki looked confused but shook his head. "Okay good, lay down and don't freak out just yet."

Loki laid back down on the bed and willed himself to relax. The straps seemed to come out of no where and Loki felt himself tense up. Once they were all in place he couldn't move a muscle. He looked up to see Steve holding the stones. They shined brightly under the light. They were a bright red and purple. He waited as Steve gave a silent pray to his god and looked around. Tony and Clint were in the far corner waiting for him to begin. He felt anxious, wanting this to start and not wanting it at the same time. He knew that his wound would be reopened and forced to regrow at a very fast and short amount of time.

"Sorry." Steve said and gave Loki a quick smile.

At first when he placed the stones on Loki and nothing happened. It felt as if time was going by slow and waiting for the stones to explode. When Steve looked up at Tony he felt the stones begin to heat up and looked down. The stones looked as if they were in fire and Loki began to move. Steve applied more pressure at keeping him and his hands still. As the time ticked by the stones shined more and Loki thrashed around more. When Loki opened his mouth to scream blood spilled out. Steve looked mortified but kept his hands still, the first straps to break were on his feet.

"Two minutes!" Tony yelled and Steve felt as it had already been an hour.

The stone began to die down but Loki didn't. The blood had stopped coming out and Steve held on tightly. The timer went off and he quickly removed his hands and tossed the stones to the side. Tony was by his side with water and Clint with a towel. They wiped the blood of Loki and Steve. The god had washed his mouth out with the water before relaxing back into the bed, he was exhausted. Steve took his normal seat while Tony and Clint pulled up new ones. 

"So reindeer games, can you speak or will I have to add on something new for you to learn?" Tony joked around.

"Sorry, I do not know what a reindeer is?" Loki said tiredly. Steve, Clint and Tony looked over with wide eyes. "I grew a tongue back not a second head." he smiled as they began to laugh.


	10. 10

Chapter ten

Loki released a sigh of relief once the team was gone. He wasn't feeling as comfortable having so many people in one room at once. His mouth was sore and he couldn't help but wanting to flick and move his tongue around. He had promised himself that if he ever got he his tongue back he would talk. It helped that he felt safe with the people around him, he wanted to talk to them and show them that he wasn't weak or damaged. It felt swollen and hurt to move it around much; the team understood and left him to rest. He rested his head back staring at the ceiling and reflecting on what's happened so fast. Loki was afraid when he first was released and brought down to Midgard, the place he tried to enslave, and stay with the people he hurt.

Never did returning to Midgard seem like an option for him. Loki closed his eyes and left that his magic was back and strong as ever. He could feel it healing and soothing his tongue over. He looked over his hands once again, his fingers weren't straight and he could see faint scars that would disappear soon. Once his health was better he would try using his magic. He didn't know if his magic was affected by being under the control of Aðalbrandr dark magic for so many years. The door opened up and Steve had walked back inside with a tray of food.

"Hey Loki, I brought you something to eat. Since we don't know if your taste buds will be sensitive or not we brought some bland food for now." he smiled and took his normal seat.

"Thank you, Steve Rodgers." Loki looked over the food. It looked appetizing to say the least.

"Steve is just fine. I can see that it's uncomfortable for you to be talking right now and you don't have to force yourself." Steve moved the tray over to him and pointed the food out. "This is some warm herbal tea, applesauce, and jello."

"I heal much faster than normal Midgardians, powers or no powers." He sat up straighter in his chair. "I practiced talking when I was alone in my cell in Asgard, I always held hope that I would be able to get my tongue back. Talking now is just more easier so I want to lavish in this."

"We talked about it and we don't want you to feel forced into talking with us. I want you to know that if you feel more comfortable being in silence then you can be. Don't feel like you have to pretend to be all better for us." Steve smiled and stared into Loki's eyes. "When you're ready to really talk to us you can but for now don't force yourself."

"I am not forcing myself. I spent many years with no one I can trust or talk to. I will admit that when I first came here I was terrified but you, Clint, Pepper and Tony showed me otherwise. I don't feel completely safe around Tony or Clint but with you I have a sense of security and I trust you. You were able to see that I didn't trust the food you would bring me so you tested them without me asking, you would read to me and comforted me with caring words and touches." Loki smiled. "I want to talk to you most of all."

"I feel flattered but we can talk later, you need to eat." Steve knew he had a faint blush on his face. He wasn't used to compliments and Loki's meant a lot to him. "I'll help you."  
Steve couldn't help but laugh when he put a spoonful of jello in front of Loki. He looked very confused as to why it was moving about on the spoon. Loki opened his mouth and accepted the jello, it was cool and was a bit sweet. The applesauce smelled well and tasted not bad, he enjoyed that dish. The herbal tea was soothing to his mouth, he had to learn how to prepare such meals for himself.

"Loki, I what to say that I'm happy you want to talk to us." Steve smiled brightly.

"Yes. Could you read me a book?" Loki asked as he looked at the small pile next to him.

"You can choose, you may not know them but I promise their interesting." Steve held out two books, The Great Gatsby and 1984. Loki looked over the covers and picked 1984, the title left much for his mind to wonder about. "1984 is about when the world is in a totalitarianism rule and has been divided in three equal parts: Eastasia, Eurasia, and Oceania. The main character is a man named Winston Smith and his job is to change history to how The Party wants it to."

Loki listened to the story with great interest, it reminded him of how the Chitauri wanted to rule Midgard. The horrors of how it could have been for the mortals that lived here settled into his mind as Steve read on. He wouldn't wish that on his worst enemies. The ending of the book made Loki a bit upset, he really thought they had a chance. Steve excused himself and Loki was alone again. His way was working of not showing weakness, they weren't pitting him and treating him justly. Loki, even if dying, never wants someone to pity and over worry over him.

Tony, Steve and Clint were ordering food when the elevator beeped. They looked over half expecting Thor or Bruce when Natasha walked in. She was in her fighting outfit and a passive look on her face. She looked at them with suspect and waiting for one of them to ask.

"Nat! I thought you were on your mission?" Clint finally spoke up

"I was but it was false. I went to go and find out if this power hungry man had weapons of mass destruction as he likes to boast to his friends. Turns out he had nothing and his system was easier to hack than a school girls phone." she sat next to Tony "So how is Loki doing?"

"Very well, he is speaking and dealing." Clint spoke up but Natasha stood up as if her seat as if had burned her.

"What do you mean by talking?" she asked them, Steve felt himself begin to panic.

"Well after the whole stone healing thing he began to talk to us." Tony spoke up "Was he not supposed to?"

"Did he use any humor?" She crossed her arms.

"Kind of, not like I'm going to piss my self funny but yeah." Tony stood up. "He's not reacting normally is he?" 

"No, he is trying to bury the past. He is forcing himself to act normal so we won't show to much compassion." Tony was about to speak up but she cut him off. "No stark, burying the past is not good. He is just pushing it aside and it will only harm him. He needs to talk about it and face his demon head on. How could you not tell something was wrong Clint?" she addressed her partner.

"I didn't really think of it. I mean I was more shocked that he was able to talk so fast." he spoke honestly.

"Okay. Where is Thor?" she looked around. The god wasn't hard to miss.

"He said he would be back today. Something about a relic that he needed in order to get a bit of forgiveness from Loki." Tony sat back down, Steve also relaxed.

Natasha ate with the team before heading down to the medical wards. She had seen it before. Victims of torture would either ignore it and try to move on, Tony, hide behind mask, Loki, or actually try to face it. She watched Loki for awhile, analyzing him and figuring out how to approach him. He was nervous even when he is alone, he looked well guarded and his mask was in place even when alone. She decided on a head on approach with some force-fullness but she would try to talk first, she walked to the door.

"Loki, I've been told you are well and able to speak." she sat down next to him. Loki seemed a anxious and fearful but was trying to hide it. He smiled at her and it was painful to watch.

"Yes, Natasha Romanoff. I have not seen you since I have arrived." he spoke evenly. He had on a mask to protect himself from her and pity.

"I was working." she had to be forceful, the talking was getting no where. The more time he had the better and stronger the mask will be. "Want to talk about Asgard?" he tensed but smiled.

"Nothing to say really." he looked anywhere but her.

"Okay. How about your father Odin or Thor?" he began to fidget. "What to talk about the last three years or when you were under the Chitauri control? No. Okay about how you feel towards Thor and your father?"

"I don't want to, please." he had tears running down his face.

"Just choose one." She watched him. He needed the push, the push for him to jump over the walls he was making.

"I..I do not hate Thor or Odin." he finally spoke and Natasha smiled. She could see the pain but he needed to start somewhere so he could start to heal and close the wounds.  
"I see. Why not?" she asked out of true curiosity.

"The punishment I received was not used in over centuries but I did the highest treason. I tried to kill Thor -twice-, the all father and almost killed off an entire species. Plus I tried to take over Midguard and killed a lot of innocent people. Even if it was not me in control I know of what he had me do." Loki looked up. "The torture was extreme but I knew what to expect. I used to help the guards plan the mild torture and interrogation of captured spies. I do feel betrayed by the All Father and Thor, they were family but too quick to turn their backs on me. I do not hate them but I will not forgive them so lightly or at all."

"I wouldn't and neither do they expect to be forgiven." she spoke softly. "I'm sorry I was so forceful but I couldn't let you fall behind a mask. It may seem like the ideal place to be at the moment but trust me, it would ruin you."

"Thank you for your concern." Loki smiled wearily at her.

"Do you what to talk about Thor? He is living here and you are going to run into him sometime." she saw him looking around.

"I don't think I can see him yet, I fear him and Odin. I fear them because when I think about to my captivity I always see their faces. The guards told me that they reported everything to the All Father and he allowed it." Loki looked away. "I understood why they did what they did but the pain was too much and neither tried to go and see to me or do regular checks on the guards. One is to be present during interrogations but they failed to be there!" all the rage Loki had inside was spilling out and Natasha was happy. It would help him. "I know what they thought me to be but I was still their brother and son! Odin never let my mother come to see me, he didn't even come down once to check on me and when Thor finally showed up he was there to cause more pain." his voice broke and began to cry. "I'm scared to see Odin, he might send me back. I am scared to see Thor because he may hurt me again and I don't think I could handle another look of utter disappointment and hatred from him."

Natasha moved over and offered him a shoulder to cry on. At first he didn't make any moves towards her at all but then he leaned his head to rest on her. She softly ran her hands through his hair and patted his back. He was talking and that was good, he is starting the first steps to recovery. He needs a good support team and they are the ones to give it to him. She knew that he would soon need to do a face to face with Thor and his father but that is still a long ways down the road.


	11. 11

Chapter eleven

Pepper came in and Natasha left, Loki was never alone as long as he was awake. The team knew they couldn't always be with him, they had other obligations to uphold. Natasha was getting shipped off again next week and she had a lot of work to do with Loki, Clint might tag along with her. She wanted him to be open with her and when she leaves he would hopefully be able to talk to Steve or Pepper with comfort about what happened to him.

"What are the plans so far?" she asked her fellow teammates.

"Well, I looked up some medical issued hand rehabilitation information for Clint and Steve." Tony held out some papers. "Not that you guys aren't on the right track but these will help him more." Steve grabbed the papers and smiled.

"Any idea when Thor is coming back?" Clint asked from the other side.

"He said today but we don't even know where he went." Steve said.

"I need to talk to him." Natasha said.

"Well I think he is almost here." Tony said and point out the window. Dark thunder clouds gathered. "I say he will be here momentarily."

There was was a pause as they stared at the clouds that was broken by the sound of thunder. They rushed to the top of Stark Tower to see Thor reappear in front of them. He was dressed in his armor and his cape was flapping around until the air calmed and the dust subsided. In his hands was what they presumed was the artifact he went in search of. It was a dark wooden box, with runes they didn't recognized, and it was small.

"Hey there big guy!" Tony was the first to greet him. "Mind telling us where you have been?" he looked pointedly at the box in his hands.

"I will put this in my rooms. I shall tell you of my quest but first, how is Loki fairing?" Thor looked at them all.

"He is well. The healing went without a hitch and he is speaking again but I don't think it is good for you to go to him just yet." Tony response.

"I know of this which is why I stay away. I don't want to hurt him even more than I already have. I shall be back." Thor took the box and head to his room. 

The team headed into the sitting room to wait for Thor. Although it was not said they knew he had gone to see Loki, not face to face but through the glass. Tony called Bruce to head up to the room. Thor entered the room but without his armor or his hammer. They waited until Bruce was there before he began his tale.

"My friends, as you know I headed out to find a relic that would grant me some forgiveness from Loki. I went home first to talk to my mother and father, they agreed and let me go." Thor drank some water. "I went to Alfheim, the home of the light Elves."

"What?" Clint said surprised.

"I went to Alfheim. It is where the light Elves live and they are the ones who held the relic I needed" Thor said again. "I went and asked Allora, she is the forger for them."  
"What you asked for?" Clint asked, interrupting him. Natasha stared at him.

"Clint, stop interrupting and may finish the story before tomorrow. she smiled at Thor for him to go on.

"I asked Allora to lend me her bands of life and souls. That is what is inside the box and I will not use them until Loki will at least look at me." Thor finished off his water.

"What do the bands do?" Bruce asked.

"I shall tell you in time what are their purpose." he stood up. "Please excuse me as I am tired and need for rest. proving yourself worthy of them was much work."  
Natasha followed Thor out of the room leaving the rest behind her. She knew that there was more to Thor and what happened in Asgard then he was letting out. Tony began to look up anything he could find on the Internet about such bands and of Alfheim. Clint and Steve were reading over the papers that they received from Tony to help Loki and new foods to try out. Natasha was outside the door of Thor and she was wondering how to go in and approach him. She nicked on the door and waited until it was opened by Thor.  
"Hello Thor, can I talk to you?" she asked as she walked in.

"Sure my friend. Sit anywhere you wish." he smiled at her and sat at his chair facing her. "What do you wish to speak of?"

"How is Jane doing?" she asked

"Lady Jane has Married to a man she meet through her work. Last I saw her she was with child." he smiled. Natasha thought he was in love with her.  
"Weren't you and her together?" she asked carefully.

"No, we were but friends. I thought I loved her but I did not. She loves another now and I have too much to do to worry of such a thing." his smile grew. "She is bearing a boy."  
"Well when you see her again give her my congratulations." she smiled warmly "Thor I want to talk about what happened on Asgard?"

"I knew you would wish to speak of that. Well what do you wish to know about? How I was a horrible brother and only cared about what his people cared for or how I allowed my brother to be torture and helped?" his eyes grew dark and he avoided eye contact.

"Thor I want you to tell me the truth of what was going through your mind, your emotions and why you did what you did?" she put her hand on his shoulder.

"As I was the one he tried to end twice I was granted the right to the first punishment. I wanted to be in and out so whipping and other of those forms were dismissed. The court gave me ideas of how to carry it out and the most favored was removal of the tongue but I refused that idea. I wanted to refuse the right but if I did it would have gone to the first guard and it would have been worse..."

"Thor, if this is too soon we can talk later." she patted his arm.

"No. I am fine my friend. I couldn't let that man do that to him so I agreed and well broke his hands. After that I went in search for that man he named, Aðalbrandr. But I could not find him anywhere so I decided that he was lying and I tried to avoid him. I didn't visit him until the guard told me that Loki attacked him. If a prisoner attacks a guard then they get death." Thor was fiddling with his hands.

"But he didn't get death, why?" she ask back in her chair.

"Even though I tried to see him as just a prisoner I couldn't. I couldn't bare to see him put to death before the court and our mother. Call me a fool and selfish but I still had some hope that proof would come and he would be let go." Thor looked out the windows. "The guards lied to me about the attack but Loki didn't deny them. He had stopped talking by then normally it happens within the criminals."

"But for Loki it was different, wasn't it?" she had been listening to this.

"Yes. For other criminals we normally didn't practice it since no one cared to do it or demand it. The guards asked father in front of his court for the mandatory protocol and he said yes. We can not or are allowed to show any kind of favor for Loki. Loki was not liked by the people or other realms and if we showed favoritism then we would have riots. If the other realms got wind of it they could demand Loki to practice out their own punishments." Thor ran a hand through his hair. "He had his tongue removed and I watched. I think I repeated his offense more than once not just for him to remember why it was happening but for myself.I wanted to detach myself from him, remember all his victims and why I was doing this in the first place. Why I needed to hate him."

"But you never did hate him did you?" she asked. Thor was crying, she could tell even though his face was the other.

"No. I never hated him no matter how much I tried. I became frustrated with that and hated myself for it. In my mind he had killed so many innocent humans, and endangered my family but I still could not hate him." he turned to face Natasha, tears making their way down. "I want to earn his forgiveness, even if it takes until the end of my days but I will try."

"I am talking to Loki as you know. I am getting him to talk about this so he can face it and get closure. One step that will come later is to talk to you and your father." she stood up. "I will have to go now, you should rest."

"Thank you for coming, until later my friend." Thor turned back in his chair.

Natasha made her way back to her teammates, they were watching T.V. Clint and Steve were enticed by the movie they didn't notice her but Tony did. She walked over tot he counter by the bar and waited for Tony to get closer. He poured them both a drink and sat next to her.

"How is the big guy?" he sipped his drink.

"Killing himself with regret." she looked around. "I don't think I will be able to fix their relationship but I will get them to talk. Loki is also spiraling down the road of blaming himself. I can see it in him when we talked, maybe blames himself for not being strong enough and falling into that control."

"When are you going to talk to them again?" Tony looked at his empty glass.

"Thor, maybe later on when he is awake later. Loki, tomorrow. I think he had enough of my forceful ways for today." she smiled lightly.

"Well if you need help talking I think you can get Bruce to help you." he smiled.

"And here I thought you were affording yourself for that position." she said sarcastically.

"Killing armies of aliens, defeating evil and building new weapons for us, I can do. Talking to men that are damaged emotionally, family problems between Gods, and mending a shattered person is something I prefer to watch from afar but step in if needed." he picked up his glass and walked back to the couch.


	12. 12

Chapter 12

The days at Stark Tower were peaceful to say the least. They were like one big weird family that fate mashed up. Clint and Steve began to bring Loki out of the medical rooms and around the tower, showing him new things everyday. Natasha and Loki talked out on the roof or in his own private rooms. Loki had become strong thanks to the teams efforts and wasn't scared of little things like before, he was gaining his confidence back. Thor was mostly in his room on another level, they didn't see much of him but when they did he seemed off. He would get mad at anything, also according to Jarvis he had heat spikes. The heat spikes would sometimes reached 108 and not go down for hours. 

"Loki." Natasha was sitting in front of him. "I am leaving tomorrow."

"I wish you the best on your new assignment and that you return well." he smiled.

"Thank you. Now today I wish to talk about you." she left it broad enough for him to choose.

"What do you what to know? You know of my family and my life growing up." he began to pick at the hem of his shirt.

"I want to take about how much you know of where you came from. All we know is that your adopted but nothing other than that." she knew this was a sore spot for them.

"I am...a monster." he looked away. "The one who caused all of this was from where I came from. My real father wanted to kill me because I was a shame to them but instead I was forced to become a slave and caused so much chaos. I can't remember most of my childhood and the parts I do aren't very clear."

"You are no monster. If you were then they wouldn't had to control you the way you did. You fought for your freedom as hard as you could." Natasha watched as Loki looked her in the eyes.

"Not hard enough. I wasn't able to stop him from trying to kill Thor, Odin or your innocent people. I couldn't help Clint at all, I am so weak." he began to cry. "I killed so many people, my own kind and your people. I am a monster!"

"It was your body but not you. The person I fought against isn't here." she kneeled down next to him. "Loki have a close net of people I talk to and even smaller one I trust and care for; you're one of those people."

"I don't deserve you or any of this." he hugged her as he cried, she patted his back.

"You deserve a lot more than just this, I also heard your mother will be coming soon." she smiled gently at him. "Also this talk about your origin isn't over." she said in mock seriousness. 

Thor was sitting in his room with a throbbing headache. His whole body felt as if a fire was burning him from the inside out, Jarvis had told him to take a cold shower to lower it. Nothing was helping, not the showers, medication or rest. He felt this urge to run off and find Loki, but he knew he couldn't because that would hurt Loki. He picked up the box and looked it over, the urge was stabbing into him but couldn't fight it, the more he did the worse it got and more confused he became. He got the golden and silver bands out and searched for Loki. Loki was in the library as always and Thor knew that.

"Sir I don't think this is wise." Jarvis spoke out.

"I don't care...I need to." Thor pushed the doors and Loki was sitting with a book in front of him.

"Sir your body heat is at 120, I'm calling Mr. Rodgers." Jarvis said and Loki turned around.

"Loki I don't want to hurt you." Thor pulled the bands out, his hand shaking. "You know what this are, right? You know they will not harm you."

"How did you get those?" Loki looked Thor over. Those bands weren't illegal to use on Asgard. "I think you should leave, those are very dangerous." he said seriously while backing towards the wall.

"I asked for them." Thor's eyes were dulled, sweat dripping from him. "Put this on." he handed him the band but Loki flinched back. "I'm not going to hurt you!" Thor yelled, the heat from his body was frustrating him and he felt confused.

"Thor, just leave." Loki walked backwards. "Please."

"I can't!" he activated the band the way Allora taught him. "I want to know how you felt, I want the pain, I want the hate!" he yelled as the band appeared on Loki wrist and he put his on. "I want to never forget what I put you through, how much I hurt you."

The bands began to glow a light gold that soon turned into a deep red. Loki stood by the book case as Thor convulsed on the ground near him, the door was broken down, and Steve entered with Bruce. They quickly ran next to Thor, his body was twitching and his body heat was not dropping. They couldn't pick up the god to take him to the medical room.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"He came here with the bands which are very dangerous and right now his life may be in danger." Loki looked at the band.

"Why is it red?" Bruce tried to touch the one around Thor's wrist but it burned him.

"He is feeling everything I felt while imprisoned but he is getting it ten times what it was. These bands are used on criminals to feel the pain they caused the people they have harmed. You feel it but in a very quick amount of time, mine was three years so this process will be longer and more dangerous." Loki watched as Thor began to shake.

"Sir, I have been monitoring Mr. Odinson and he is going into shock, and having a heart attack." Jarvis spoke out.

"We have to remove this, now." Steve put his hands on the band and tried to remove it but it didn't budge.

"It won't come off like that." Loki sat next to Thor's body.

Loki hadn't tried to excess his magic since he was freed and had use of it again. He began to think of any kind of enchantments or spells to break them connection and remove the bands. He put his hand over the band on Thor's wrist and began to concentrate as much as he could, he could feel the way his magic flowed towards his hands. Loki could feel how his magic was not dark but his own and feel as it seeped out and wrapped around the bands. The bands flickered on and off but it was taking to long. Steve and Bruce watched from afar at how mystical the magic looked and were astonished when the bands broke off.

"We need to get him to the medical rooms and run test." Bruce said quickly. Steve ran for a stretch and with Loki's magic they got him on it. "Jarvis, contact Tony and tell him about this.

"Yes sir." Jarvis voice announced.

"Loki we thought you wouldn't be able to do magic since your hands were broken?" Steve asked.

"Who said that? Magic is apart of me and never left. I didn't use magic because I thought it might have been tampered with thanks to that monster." Loki looked at his hands. "They will never be the same but magic isn't like that. Magic doesn't just stop because your hands aren't the same, they came to you whenever you call for it. It's kind of like if you broke your hands to the point of disfigurement, does the blood stop flowing to it." Steve shook his head.

"No it doesn't, it keeps going." Loki smiled.

"Think of my magic as blood." Loki looked ahead at Thor. "Thor's not been himself since I was imprisoned." 

"How so?" Steve thought Thor was the same as ever except for right now.

"The two times I saw him he seemed confused and conflicted. He never punished me how it should have been, he was being lenient and I knew that." Loki looked at him. "This heat spikes aren't normal and even for gods 120 is a number to be weary of."

"Lenient how?" Steve couldn't see how any of what happened to Loki was lenient.

"I attacked the guards. It wasn't much of an attack but I didn't like what they wanted to do. I swung the chains so they had me bound to stop attacking them." Loki looked at his hands. "Attacking guards is a death sentence but I didn't get that. I sentenced many prisoners for less aggressive attacks them mine but yet I was still alive."

"Loki is right." Natasha stepped out of the elevator. "Thor has always been reckless, aggressive and convulsive but his actions since Loki was captured has been down right erratic."

"Since when have these body heat spikes been happening, Jarvis?" Steve asked the A.I.

"The very first one was when he and his brother were fighting. Before they stopped Thor had body heat spike of 110." Jarvis said. "Most files footage from that day aren't accessible because of damage done. Thor had a high temperature when he arrived with his brother and has been going up and down since then."

"I will speak to him." Loki said.

"Loki I don't think you are ready for this." Natasha said as she put her hand on him.

"I am. I feel stronger and I can't live in fear." he spoke softly. "Just stay outside the door please." he smiled.

Thor was stabilized and hooked up to a heart monitor. His body heat went back down to a normal one and his headache was gone. Jarvis had ran some test and they were waiting for Tony to come. Thor was not sick but had a strange brain development. His brain scar shows that most of his brain had been inflamed, but it couldn't be traced to any human known illness. Thor work up a few hours later and saw Loki was next to his bed.

"You could have died." Loki said plainly, he kept his distance. Loki didn't know why but he couldn't find it in him to resent Thor for what happened, his instinct told him otherwise. "How long have you been dealing with those height spikes?"

"I don't care if I did, I had to feel it for myself what I put you through." Thor looked around. "I can't remember."

"How did you get those, I know Odin and mother would never agree. Why did you lie to your friends?" he asked as he fiddled with the bands.

"I had to get them. I found a hidden way into Alhiem and took them." he looked away.

"This isn't like you Thor. The light elves will want them back and your head for this." Loki stared at them.

"I am leaving tonight." He said suddenly.

"Where?" Loki asked.

"I am going to go around the realms alone. I shall fight off every villain within those and move on until I find peace." the plan was absurd. "I may or may not come back but I don't care." he was being too reckless.

"They won't let, at least until they find what is wrong with you." Loki left the room quickly, his heart beating fast.

The medical rooms were sealed that night to keep Thor in and Jarvis was watching him. Everyone woke up to the sound of the alarms but by the time they got to the room it was empty. Jarvis had informed them that Thor had another heat spike just before leaving. Loki stood there and asked to watch the recording of what happened earlier. Thor woke up after his body heat spiked to 106 and bashed his way out of the room, he made it to the roof before disappearing with the light.


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more of a filler. It shows how Loki's relationship with the others developed and how he views them.

Chapter 13

It has been a week since Thor disappeared and Natasha left. Loki was spending more time practicing his magic and healing his hands to the best he of his abilities; the therapy was done. Frigga was to arrive the next day, early in the morning, to see her son and speak with him. Loki was developing a strong friendship with Steve and Bruce out of all the Avengers. Clint and him were friendly but not friends, Natasha was on her own level with him. He trusted her with his life and secrets but they haven't established a relationship yet. Tony, was well Tony, they talked about science and different ideas for new projects.

"Hey Loki, I am going out to get a coffee and doughnut; what to join?" Steve was an early riser but not as early as Loki.

"Yeah. What is a doughnut?" Loki was still discovering the world.

"It's a dough that is cooked in oil and it comes with different fillings and toppings." First time he ever had to describe a doughnut. "You just have to try one."

"Will it be like pizza?" Loki scrunched up his face. He didn't like pizza, it was not a good taste for him.

"No. They are very different." Steve remembered that day. Loki took one bite and spit it out with a face of true horror. "It is sweat and goes great with coffee."

"I'll try it." Loki stood to get dressed.

He was still not used to the fashions of Midgard but did find suitable clothes. He picked out a pair of dark loose denim jeans, a dark grey button up shirt and a scarf. He refused the 'skinny' jeans Tony bought him and the muscle shirts as well; he disliked those. After brushing his hair and made his way towards the living room. It was six thirty, Tony was still asleep and Bruce had left to travel but had promised to be back in time for Christmas or earlier. Clint was dispatched the day before to go undercover with the rivals of whom Natasha was undercover for. Loki was excited as Christmas was in two months and Steve had promised to take him out to see the decoration.

Steve and Loki got on the elevator together in silence. They knew that they didn't have to talk in order for it not to be awkward. Loki looked around, even though he has gone out before it still amazed him. The parks were beautiful, many stores, a lot of different people and many new smells. He wasn't used to so much noise, crowded streets which is why he only goes out early in the morning. The coffee shop wasn't a long walk away but they air was good. As winter was coming the air was beginning to get colder and colder which Loki liked. 

"Do you want the same coffee?" Steve asked when they entered the store. 

"Yeah but what of these doughnuts?" Loki stared at the round items. "Why do some have holes but not the others?"

"Well the ones without the hole are usually custard filled." he smiled and turned back to the waitress. "One black coffee two sugars and one hazelnut coffee with five sugars. One plain glazed doughnut and..." 

"That one." Loki pointed at a sugar coated one.

"And one sugar doughnut please." the young girl rang them up and they sat down.

"Steve, can we go walk in the park afterwards." Loki asked. He wasn't comfortable with walking on his own.

"Yeah and afterwards we can go to the antique store you like." Loki beamed at that.

"Yes. That sounds delightful. I want to see if they have anything new in." the waitress came back with the coffees and doughnuts.

Steve ate his doughnut while reading the newspaper. Loki was enjoying his coffee but staring at the doughnut in front of him, it looked good. He looked around but no one was looking at him so he reached for it and grabbed it. It was warm and soft, it smelled great so he took a bite. The inside was moist and soft, he was going to put doughnuts down on his Christmas wish list. Steve folded the paper up and laughed as he looked at Loki, he was covered in the sugar from his nose and all over his mouth.

"What?" Loki asked confused.

"Come here." Steve got a tissue and dipped it in his water. He cleaned Loki's face while laughing. "There was sugar all around your mouth and nose."

"Thank you Steve. Shall we go?" he asked when he noticed people were staring at them.

"Yeah let's go." he put a tip on the table.

Steve got them a cab and headed to the park Loki liked the best. It was a park for dog owners and had the best trails for walks or jogs. Loki liked to be outside in the morning and he had a fondness for the pets as well. At the end of the trail they walked down the street to the small antique store. It was owned by an elderly man who traveled the word when younger and started to pick up some old items. Loki likes to buy the older books, mostly written in Latin or German, and small toys that reminded him of his youth. 

They stayed for almost an hour, Loki left with a new book and a old wooden hand crafted horse. Steve showed Loki how to call for a cab and let him do it and give the address. Stark tower was in view so they decided to walk the rest if the way. Steve was making hamburgers for lunch and Loki was helping him, Loki wanted to learn how to cook. He also learned how to work the dishwasher and did the dishes every other day. Loki was adapting to life on Midgard but had a lot on his mind and was using this new life to push it away. They knew that Loki worried over his brother and his disappearance, no matter what Loki had a good heart.

"Loki, go check on Tony while I prepare the stuff we need." Loki walked off to wake up Tony.

"Mr. Rodgers, the meat has been thawed already." Jarvis said.

"Thank you, Jarvis." Steve began to wash his vegetables and heat up the stove.

"Tony said that you should go wake him up personally next time, something about a morning kiss?" Loki gave a small smirk. "I didn't know you were with him."

"No...he is just pulling your leg." Steve turned a bright red but kept a straight face. "How are you going to spend the day tomorrow with your mother?"

Loki smiled. "I am going to hug her. I'm going to kiss her cheek. I am going to tell her I love her."

"That sounds nice. Do you want me to make her something special?" Steve pass began to cook the meat.

"I don't know if she has had Midgardian food, what would you suggest?" Loki watched as the meat went from pink to a brown.

"Well if she likes meat I can make a chicken salad for lunch and steak and potato dinner. If she likes healthier food, a lentil soup and for dinner would be baked chicken breast with vegetables." Steve was thinking of other plates when the smoke alarm went off and the sprinklers over the stove turned on.

"Sir the fire was put out but I suggest you move the cooking outside." the AI spoke out.

"Steve, I think the salad and steak sound the best." Loki looked amused as Steve stared at his ruined food.

Tony walked out of his room to see that the cooking was outside on his rooftop and not in his kitchen again. Steve was flipping the burgers and adding cheese to others while Loki looked up to the sky. He called Pepper to join them and she was on her way so he got the beers and sodas ready. Loki was now more relaxed around them and was even gallium to them about his past, each of his happiest memorizes always included Thor in way. Tony's heart went out to Loki and the relationship that was nothing but old memorizes that are not even reliable. The elevator opened and Pepper walked in with big bags of cups and some sauce.

"Hey, Loki!" Pepper sat next to him. "I got the chips you like." she held up the bag of Doritos.

"Thank you, how have you been as of late?" he grabbed the bag.

"Well taking care of this big baby is hard but the company is great!" Tony tossed ice at her. "See, like a big baby."

"I can see that. You don't need him, let's start our own company." Loki laughed as Tony’s head perked up.

"Wow, wow dude. One: you can't take my girlfriend or my companies CEO. Second: my company would win." he smirked.

"Loki, you got a deal." she winked.

"Pepper!" he whined. "Steve no burgers for the traitors!" he grabbed the plate with hamburgers and ran off.

Steve was yelling at him while Pepper threw ice cubes and Loki couldn't help but stare. From his point of view it looked like Steve was trying to stop children from fighting, Loki thinks of Steve as the dad of the Avengers. Tony was the childish and spoiled one, Bruce was was quiet but the temperamental, Natasha was the serious and sneaky one, and finally Clint was the family clone and sweetheart. Loki began to laugh when his mind thought of fury as a grandparent, always telling you what to do and how do it. Pepper, Tony and Steve stopped what they were doing and watched Loki, they haven't heard him laugh.

Loki looked at the hamburgers with a curious look and at the others. Steve just had the usual: cheese, tomatoes, onions, lettuce, pickles and ketchup. Pepper was just plain with cheese, ketchup and mustard. Tony had everything and even added a few jalapeños. Loki found out the hard way that he disliked pickles and mustard so just added ketchup and extra cheese. He preferred food that used utensils, it was cleaner and healthier. He picked up the food and smelled it, it wasn't repulsive and took a small bite; he had three more hamburgers before going to sleep that night.


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frigga arrives, finally. Loki and Frigga have a mother son bonding moment.

Chapter 14

Frigga was preparing for her visit that she had spent the past few days putting everything in order for. She has missed her two sons very much and hasn't seen them since Loki was taken from her to Midgard. Loki's room was restored to it's glory and she had sent people out to gather the books she knew Loki loved the best. She had gathered the ones he would always read and put them in her bag. The servants had prepared his favorite sweets and packed them as well,as she grabbed a few of his more casual clothing as well. Walking to the Bifrost she said her farewell to Hiemdall and told the guards to go back, this was something she wanted to do alone.  
"Sir, I think that Loki's mother is on the rooftop." Jarvis spoke out. 

"Thanks, I'll go tell Loki." Tony getting up when Loki rushed past him. "I think he knows."

"Jarvis to the roof please." Loki entered the elevator, along with Tony and Steve. 

"Loki, you seem excited." Tony asked the god.

"I haven't seen my mother in a long time." Loki smiled a bit. "I have missed her."

The elevator stopped on the last floor and they walked up the stairs to the door. Loki put his hand on the door handle and froze, she was just beyond that door. He breathed in deeply and opened the door. Steve and Tony saw a young looking women with long flowing, blonde curly hair, tall, and just beautiful. The sun seemed to radiate off of her and her long white dress with gold. She smiled and opened her arms for her son; Loki ran to her. She embraced her son and a few tears fell, Loki breathed in her scent that always calmed him down.

"My son, how I have missed you." she cupped his face.

"Mother, I have missed you the most." Loki kissed her cheek and hugged her again. "I love you."

"I love you as well." she tightened her grip on him. "Are those your friends?" she asked as she looked at the awkward standing men by the door.

"These are the warriors of earth, some are missing at the moment. Steve Rogers, known as Captain America and Anthony Stark, the Man of Iron." Frigga smiled at them.

"It is always a pleasure to met the friends and shield brothers of my sons." she walked to them. "I am Queen Frigga of Asgard, mother of Thor and Loki."

"My lady." Steve bowed and elbowed Tony to do the same.

"You flatter me. Frigga will do just fine." she laughed a bit. "Loki will you show me to the sitting room, I have brought you gifts."

Loki held out his arm for his mother to hold as he guided her to the living room. She was fascinated by the elevator and also by the very respectful disembodied voice of Jarvis. Steve got the lemonade ready and a few cups on a tray, Frigga made him nervous. He put a few cookies that Loki really like and walked into the living room. Frigga was looking around while Loki was pointing to things and explaining them. Loki was just sitting next to his mother and not moving just smiling and holding onto her arm.

"That is the remote control to the television." she held the remote and pushed a button and the T.V turned on. "That is like moving pictures."

"This is very fascinating, Loki how have you been my child?" she put the remote down and turned to her son.

"I have been well, my magic has returned and I am healing faster than anticipated." he smiled

"Good. I brought you some clothes, your favorite books and some of those sweets you love to use to eat in large amounts." she handed him the wrapped items. "I had extra packed just for you."

Loki opened the cloth to see books that he had read over a hundreds of times. Book about his magic, other types and some just tales of quest of people. His clothes were there from his green tunics to his favorite pair of pants. He opened the sweet smelling cloth to see his favorite pastries, they were like Midgard's custard filled bread but these were better.

"Thank you mother." Loki smiled and grabbed a sugar cookie. "Try one, they are to my liking here on Midgard."

"It is nice my son. Now where is Thor, very rude not to come and greet his mother." she asked.

"Thor left a while ago, he hasn't been to Asgard?" Loki asked his mother.

"No. Last I saw him was when he brought you here." she looked worried. "Did he say where he was going?"

"He said he wanted to get away for a bit and travel." Tony said loudly .

"I see." Frigga smiled and ruffled Loki's hair. "Loki go and put your gifts away."

Loki gathered his gifts. "I will be back in a moment." Loki left.

"Now captain and Man of Iron, who does my son fair." She looked at them with a concerned look.

"Well appears to be doing well, from the outside you would think we are close and he is great." Steve looked at the door. "But he still is very wary around us, he talks about a lot of things but not about his heritage or everything that happened during his imprisonment."

"I see. My son grew up in the notions from others that his race are monsters and vile creatures, Odin didn't help much there either." she glared at the wall. "That is something he will have to come to terms with with someone that knows what frost giants are."

"Natasha, she is Black widow, has helped him talk about Thor and some of what happened but Loki doesn't want us to get to close." Tony drank some lemonade.

"I am here to talk to him for today but I will have to leave tomorrow. I am trusting you men with the welfare of my son, he is still so young." she sighed. "He has never let anyone get too close, even me."

Frigga enjoyed the chicken salad that Steve had prepared, he was a worrier and an amazing cook. Loki and his mother disappeared to Loki's room where she told him stories. Loki showed her the clothes of Midgard they got him, she also frowned at the skinny jeans. She looked around his room and gave her approval of the room, it was small compared to his room in Asgard. She sat down on the bed and motioned for Loki to sit next to her.

"I wish to speak with you about your heritage." Loki's eyes widen, he wish he could just forget that.

"There is nothing to speak on that matter mother. I am a monster, the same monster that parents tell their kids to make sure they behave." tears were falling. "The same ones Thor swore to end, the ones that I hate the most and the ones who...created me."

"You are no monster. Your- Odin was wrong when he began to teach you and Thor about the Jutons, I should have stopped that." she rubbed small circles on his back. "They are not all monsters, your father that birthed you was one of the kindest person I have ever met. I tried to teach you and Thor the good of all beings."

"Why couldn't you just told me when I was younger instead of letting me live in a lie." Frigga stopped.

"I wanted to but Odin convinced me that you would never find out and you were my son." Frigga looked her broken son in the eyes. "My love for you was never false, even know I still consider myself your mother. If I could go back I would tell you everything from the beginning and reinforce in you just how much I love you."

"I trust your love but I can not trust myself." Loki looked around. "I can't think of myself anything other than a monster, what if I hurt them!"

"You won't. I see that is your fear now. You fear that you are not truly free from that damned mans controls and you will hurt them as how he forced you to hurt us." she smiled her son had a big heart." she hugged him closely. "I have checked your mind, even as we speak and there is only yourself. I know what to look for now and I will never fail you again."

"You never did fail me." Loki hugged her closely.

"Loki, I want you to let the glamor go." Loki tensed up. "I know that you will not like it but you must see that it is still you even if you look different, you are still my son."

Loki was fighting his fear as he felts for the glamor, he has seen his Juton form just once before. He looked his mother in the eyes and only saw love. Letting the glamor dropped made him feel sick and wrong, like as if he was nude in front of the whole world. When he opened his eyes he was ready to see revulsion, hatred and fear but he was never so happy inns life to be wrong. Her eyes were filled with love, acceptance and no fear but warmth. He began to cry as he looked down as his royal blue hands, he felt cooler than normal but it was nice and he felt lighter. 

"You looked wonderful my son. You still look like my dear Loki." she reached to touch his cheek but he flinched back.

"Mother, it could burn you." Loki whispered but then felt her warm soft hand on his check.

"No. You can only burn when you wish harm on someone." she smiled. "Oh my, you're very cool to the touch."

"I think that's a good sign. I feel more lighter in this form." he asked worried.

"The magic Odin used on you put an extra layer over you so you can blend in and not over heat." she ran her hand through his hair. "Your hair is even softer than before."

"Thank you." he hugged her closely. "I know this will take time but I'm not as scared to think of my Juton form. One day I maybe able to embrace it and show the others."

"That is good to hear." Frigga closed her eyes and focused on finding his magic. "Your magic is getting stronger and being in your Juton form is helping it build up faster."

"This forms magic isn't well corrupted." Loki asked while looking at his magic.

"No. No magic is corrupted, only the people are. Magic is not evil or good, it depends on the people that use it that make it so." she laughed a bit. "I thought I taught you better, guess I am starting to get old."

Loki put his glamor back on but a light one. He then showed her around, the library that they had, and of course the the view for the platform. Frigga enjoyed the small things the best like the digital clocks, their lighting methods, and the camera that Tony instated they use. The mother and son stood next to each other as if they were going to create a painting of them but they were greeted by a flash instead. Jarvis made two copies and Frigga held hers close, she would treasure it until the end of her life. Tony had them laminated so they wouldn't get ruined with people touching it, the weather or her trip back to Asgard.

"I am to leave in the morning my son." Frigga said as she cut her steak up.

"I shall miss you, come back and visit." he poured her some wine.

"That will come soon. I am going to look for Thor when I get back." she took a sip. "I worry, he has never been this reckless since your childhood after he saved you from drowning."

"That it true, I wish you the best in finding him." Loki smiled, he truly meant what he wished.

"Well this was very good but I wish to retire for the night." Loki stood up and offered her his arm. "Anthony, I must thank you again for this wonderful gift of a picture. I shall treasure it."

"It was nothing, but please call me Tony." He smiled his billion dollar smile.

"Very well, Tony. Rest well." Loki lead her to her room.


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Loki and Steve bonding time and Thor is back. Well not exactly.

Chapter 15

They were on the rooftop once more, Frigga was leaving but not before she hugged the life out of her son. She then hugged the other men, Tony was used to women hugging him but poor Steve was red and jittery. Frigga called for Heimdall and she was back home on the Bifrost. She looked at the picture in her hands and walked over to Heimdall, she needed to find her missing son. Heimdall had been watching his queen and already looked for her wayward son throughout the nine realms.

"Heimdall, I trust you have been watching and have located my son." Frigga asked as she stood in front of him.

"My queen, that I have." he turned his eyes to Alfhiem. "He returned that which he stole and is now with them. The light elves are trying to heal him, he is ill."  
"What illness has gotten my son?" Frigga asked.

"You have seen it before when he was a child. Heat raises and drops, erratic behavior and confusion." Heimdall turned his all seeing eyes to his queen. "The mortals that Prince Loki resides with have seen the inside of his mind, it is as they say inflamed but I know not how."

"I thought that illness was gone." Frigga looked out into the void. "We never did figure out how he came to have it, we put him in seclusion for it not to spread and then disappeared."

"I remember that day, he had just saved Prince Loki from drowning." Heimdall looked at his queen. "Do you want me to bring him here?"

"No, they are helping him there. We do not know if bringing him here could make him worse, I will look into this." Frigga felt upset at not being able to do more.

"The elves are doing the best they can, they are trying to help him. They have him in a deep sleep while trying to cleanse his mind; no progression so far."

Loki already missed his mother, even as a child he always found his oasis in her and he felt alone again. Tony was leaving for a week to London for a meeting with Pepper so now he was alone with Steve. He enjoyed his time with Steve, he felt protected and cared for. Loki made his way back to the living room and watched as Tony walked back and forth grabbing papers while with Pepper was on her communication device. Steve was in the gym area of the tower, he spent a lot of time down there to blow of steam or to just stay in shape. 

"Loki, we are leaving so just ask Steve for anything you need and don't forget that Jarvis is here too." Pepper said as they got on the elevator.

"Yeah, I already order you guy some Italian for lunch today. If Steve isn't here just get it, it's already been paid for." Tony shuffled some papers in his hands. "Oh and here." he passed him a communication device to him. "It's a stark phone. It has mine, Steve's and Peppers numbers already in it."

"How do I use this?" Loki the phone over.

"That's for you to figure out, it's for fun right now but in case if an emergency just say: 'call Iron Man'." His phone turned red and then Tony's phone rang and glowed red as well. 

"That is all, just figure it out for fun."

"Thank you." Loki looked over it once more.

Loki sat the phone in front of him and stared at it, how was going to figure it out. He didn't even know how to turn it on or if it even needed to be on. He picked it up and moved it between his fingers, it was not heavy and it felt very smooth to the touch. He pushed a button and it began to glow, he dropped it in fear. When it dimmed down again he curiously picked it up again and ran his hand over the screen, it lite up again. Loki read through the the words on the phone that were underneath pictures: contacts, photos, camera, email and messages. The phone was created by Tony for Loki to be simple, easy and entertaining. He understood camera, it what what he took the picture of him and his mother so he clicked the icon and was able to see the room on the phone.

"Having fun?" Steve walked in and watched as Loki playing with the phone.

"Yes. I can see the room with this, it is like a pair of eyes." Loki pointed the phone towards Steve.

"See that button where the image is?" Loki nodded, "Push it." Steve smiled.

"Oh my, it saved your face." Loki looked at the picture "Can I do that to other things?"

"Yes." Steve couldn't help but laugh. "I take it that you like taking pictures?"

"Yes, I can now save what I see that I like." Loki kept pointing the phone at everything.

"Later we can go walk around and you can take pictures." Loki smiled.

"Great. But first I must figure out what the rest of these do." he began to look investigate the other icons. 

The food arrived but he was still figuring out the food and he absentmindedly ate. He learned about the messaging but he preferred calling. He explained that in messages you wouldn't get everything out of it, the emotions or the right words and calling was more mature. He had no use for the emails and they were just like a less important and more time consuming then messages for him. Steve kept his promise and took Loki out. They went to the park and Loki took pictures of the dogs and flowers that he enjoyed to look at. Loki took pictures of people with interesting hairstyles, landmarks and the occasional street performer. Taking the pictures gave him something to look forward to do, it was fun, took concentration and he was making memorize. They were by the Southern Fountain, and Loki wanted a picture with Steve.

"Sir, can you take a photo of us?" Steve asked a man who was with his wife.

"Yes." he took the phone. Loki and Steve stood in front of the fountain. "A bit closer." Steve put his arm around Loki, he tensed but then relaxed, and they both smiled.  
"Thank you." Steve took the phone back.

"So that is what I look like today." Loki's hair has grown longer and was now at his ears.

"Yeah but it's a great picture." Steve laughed. "You want to get something to eat?"

"Yes but no hotdogs, I don't trust food named after a domestic animal." he scrunched up his nose.

"Okay. Let's go and try some burritos that Tony told us about. Well get them to go." Steve flagged down a cab.

Heimdall saw that Loki was well and fine, while getting used to a lot of new things. He drifted his eyes towards where Thor was, he was still asleep. His gaze still lingered until Thor disappeared from his sight. Looking over again and quickly glancing at the other realms, he couldn't find the first prince. He knew that Loki had the power to hide himself but Thor didn't, he wasn't magically powerful enough and the elves didn't know how to either. Before sending a message to the queen he looked around once more and Thor was back, he was now awake and destroying his room in Alfheim. He felt a familiar presence behind him, his queen.

"Heimdall. I lost my son for a moment but he is back again." Frigga was worried. "Did you lose him as well?"

"Yes I did my Queen. I was unable to see him for a short while." Heimdall kept his sight on Thor. "He is not well."

"I know, I will go and retrieve him." Frigga walked into the Bifrost. "Please Heimdall, I trust you will bring me back if anything goes wrong but I must bring him back."

"Of course." he sent his Queen to Alfheim. "Be safe."

She was on Alfheim and looked around, she was near where Thor was being kept. An elf warrior approached her and bowed, he opened lead her into the hall. She looked inside the door to where Thor was in the process of destroying everything. The elf then lead her to where the head of the healer's was, she was watching as Thor ruined the room with curiosity.

"My Queen." she greeted. "Are you here to take your son back?"

"Yes but what is wrong with him?" She watched as Thor threw a chair out a window.

"I must ask the you leave Thor here. His mind is shutting down and he will only get worse." Thor's face was bright red and he was sweating. "He can't recognize people he knows, he is releasing his frustration and he them will fall back into a sleep."

"Do you know what ills him?" Frigga couldn't help but cry a bit.

"No and yes. When he first came here and stole the bands we let him. He wasn't himself and when he returned to give them back we noticed that he was not well. We have tried to figure out what is wrong with him but we can't figure it out." she put her hand on Frigga's shoulder. "It is better if he stays here where we can contain him to one room and make his passing easier."

"I will come back later." Thor was beginning to sway until he fell. "Thor!" she ran to him.

"He is fine, just resting." She motioned for the guards to put him back on the bed. "We will fix the room again."

"I... Thank you." she kissed Thor on the forehead. "Do you have any idea of why this is happening?"

"You are most welcome, Queen. We found some traces of very dark magic but that is all, not where it is or how to rid him of it. His mind is slowly dying, being erased and soon he will fall into an eternal sleep and pass away soon afterwards." the healer looked at Thor sadly. "We will make him as comfortable as possible but we are sorry."

"I will go and inform his father and his brother, I shall be back." she walked back outside. "Hiemdall!"

"My Queen." Heimdall greeted his queen as she reappeared.

"I will need to return to Midgard sooner than planned. I have to go and see Odin." she walked quickly back to her home, her broken home.

Frigga was back and looked at Odin on his seat. She walked to him and couldn't help but begin to cry, cry for her broken family and soon to be dead son. Odin held his wife as she cried and released all her anguish. She finished and then told her husband and king that his heir and son was soon to perish. Odin demanded he be returned but Frigga refused.

"My Queen, he should be here with family. Our healer's can tend to him." Odin was mad but not with his wife but the news.

"In Alfheim they have the best healer's and they are already making his suffering less." Frigga looked at him pleadingly.

"How did such dark magic make its way into our family, we have nearly lost one son but now we are informed that our other son is to die." Odin looked at his wife.

"I would suspect Aðalbrandr but he never had contact with Thor, I am going to ask Loki to help me investigate this." she stood up. "I am to return to Midgard now."

"Yes. Be safe." He watched his wife leave.


	16. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this story Laufey is much older then Odin. Reason why Odin doesn't love Loki as he should, why steve and Loki get along so well. Loki is strong in both mind and physical means. Frigga and Loki refer to his sorcery as magic so that the mortals know and understand them.

Chapter 16

Frigga was ready to leave right then and there but her handmaidens convinced her otherwise. She took time to relax, gather what she needed for research and a good nights rest. The next morning she felt relaxed, clear of mind and ready to go and get started to research what was going on. They brought her a good first meal and when she finished she left for the Bifrost.

"Loki, What are your plans for today?" Steve asked as he flipped some pancakes.

"Jarvis has shown me some other ways to distract myself. He is going to show me how travel around by myself and how to get back." Loki poured a great amount of syrup. "I will take a 'cab' or taxi to the park, walk to the bookstore then take a underground train back here."

"Sounds fun. What me to pack you a lunch to take or are you eating out?" Steve was making some eggs.

"I shall ask you to make me a 'lunch' along with a container of water." Loki added a few berries.

"I will make you a few turkey sandwiches and cut up some fruit for you. Also Tony said that you should start using the gym we have." Steve poured them some orange juice.

"When I return from this trip, I don't expect to be out until nightfall. I will be back in a short amount of time." Loki scrunched up his nose. The juice tasted very weird.

"Sir, Ms. Odinson I'd on the roof." Jarvis announced

"Mother, but she just left yesterday." Loki dropped his fork. "I will go get her."

Loki was worried, his mother wouldn't be back for at least two or three more weeks. Something of great importance must of happened for her to return so soon and with no word beforehand. When he opened the door she had many bags full of papers, books and items. He took some of the bags and let her in the elevator first. Steve was waiting outside the elevator and took the items from them and led them into the sitting room.

"Mother, I am happy you are back but I feel something is not right." Loki sat next to his mother.

"Alas that is true my son." her eyes began to water. "I am afraid that Thor doesn't have much longer before he reaches the gates of Valhalla."

"What?" Steve was lost. "What gates are those?"

"Steve, it means that Thor doesn't have much longer before he dies." Loki looked shocked and could feel pull.

"How?" he asked and Frigga cried a bit.

"His own mind is turning on him, melting away and we don't how." she rubbed a tears away. "Heimdall was keeping watch and heard you say that part of his mind was inflamed, the elves in Alfhiem have also come to the same conclusion that the problem is his mind but there is dark magic involved."

"Do you have any idea of who?" Loki took his mothers hand in his.

"I wish I could say yes but no. The only one old and dark enough is Aðalbrandr but he has never had any contact with Thor, this magic had to be done in person."

"Aren't there other’s that could do it, it doesn't have to be abs- Aðalbrandr." Steve stumbled over the name.

"No. The residue left on Loki match that on Thor, I have gathered books and notes on what ills my other son but I fear there is nothing we could do."

"Have you spoken to Aðalbrandr?" Loki looked at the wall ahead.

"No. He refuses to speak to anyone." Frigga wiped the tears again.

"I want to speak to him." Loki said firmly.

"No. You are not ready to met him face to face yet." Frigga held his hand firmly. "I know that he will lie and manipulate you, he will hurt you and I will not allow that to happen."

"Will you let one son die so the other doesn't get upset?" he sniped but regretted it as his mothers face fell. "I am sorry mother, I still care for Thor and I want to help. This is the only way." he spoke softly.

"I wish there was another way." Frigga smiled at her son. "You always were always ready to lay your life down for anyone, I was and still am proud to be your mother."

"I love you too much to not do this for you. I don't want you to suffer anymore. We shall leave in a while." he smiled at his mother. "You must eat first and rest before we leave."

Steve helped the Queen to the room next to Loki's, Loki was looking over the papers and books she brought with her. Everything in the books pointed towards the kind of characteristics of mind bending. Someone, Aðalbrandr, had turned Thor's own mind against himself but the studies done to him show up clean. There was no sign of it but just the small trace that the elf healer's found after his attack. Loki was feeling overwhelmed by the notions that was going on in his head: he worried for Thor but at the same time he still hasn't forgiven him. He feels safe with him but also feels in danger and it was emotionally destroying him.

"Hey Loki, you alright?" Steve sat next to him.

"No." Loki said flatly "I feel like screaming and running to a cave to hide in." he gave a dry laugh.

"Want to talk about it?" he smiled. "I'm not a great talker like Natasha or Tony but I'm great at listening and I'll always give my advice from the heart."

"I think you're great at talking." Loki smiled a bit. "First I feel confused because of you and Thor."

"Me?" Steve's eyes widen. "I- did I do something?" he asked worried.

"No. Well I am a- a" he breathed in deeply. "I am a frost giant, and well we make bonds with people. My mother explained this to me in her last visit. When Thor saved me my mother thought we made a bond of brothers stronger and a bond of confidants. The bond of confidants is when one person, me, is saved in a selfless way and the saver, Thor, becomes my confident; someone I will depend on to save me and be there for me."

"How does this include me?" Steve was trying to understand this.

"We only have one bond for each: lovers, confidants, brothers, and so on. Some can be together for the same person." Loki looked as Steve. "I feel a bond towards Thor and it makes me feel safe but I know I formed my confidants bond with...you."

"Oh...oh is that why we get along very well." he laughed a bit. He felt a rush of pride at this news.

"Yes. It doesn't affect you much but I feel it the most. The problem with Thor is that the bond isn't or wasn't formed completely so it is confusing me greatly and making me emotionally tired."

"Have you talk to your mom about this?" Steve asked.

"Yes and she doesn't understand why or how it came to be like this." Loki read over the books. "I think we should leave. My mother is probably restless."

Frigga was restless, all she could do was cry in the room they provided her with and think back on her family. Her family was lost to her, she took great pride in being the idea mother and wife for Asgardian women. She has let her family fall through her hands and let them break apart before her eyes. Loki hates his own kind even though Odin is part frost giant but not many people know that, Odin has a lot to answer for. Frigga wiped her tears and decided to tell Loki the truth, Odin never kept his end of the promise. She asked the voice in the house where her son was and walked to the living room.

"Loki, I have something of great importance to tell you." Frigga rushed in and saw The captain next to her son.

"What is wrong mother?" Loki asked "Do you what Steve gone?" she smiled fondly at her son and shook her head.

"No. He can stay if you want him to." Loki smiled and Steve stayed. "I never challenged Odin when it came to educating you boys. I never drew the lie when he allowed the guards to speak ill of the frost giants or when he put down your magic. I always tried to think he was doing what was the best; was encouraging you be stronger and fight like the other warriors. I can't let you feel so much hate for your race my son."

"Mother, I don't really understand. Why should it matter if Odin didn't teach us to 'like' the Frost giants?" Loki leaned back into the couch.

"Odin's mother was a frost giant." she said softly and Loki's eyes widen. "No one spoke of her because she was murdered by Laufey when she visited her home. When he brought you home he swore that he would never let his contempt of whose son you where to cloud his judgement of you my son."

"He let me hate and fear my self for so long." Loki felt betrayed yet again. "Did Thor know?"

"No. No one spoke of her and Odin forbid it as it brought back many upsetting memorizes to him." she smiled sadly. "I swore to never reveal this secret unless he broke his end: he let it cloud his judgement. I am sorry my son."

"No other, you are done being sorry. None of this is your fault." Loki stood up and walked over to his mother and hugged her. "We will leave in a hours time, I just went over this and I am just getting ready to met with Aðalbrandr, it won't be easy but I know I can do this."

"Loki, I love you so much." she kissed him on the forehead. "I will let you go back to your reading and I will go get ready for our departure as well."

Frigga packed up most of the books with her and Loki helped her vary them to the rooftop. She couldn't see how tense her son was but he kept his face neutral. They bid their farewells to the Captain and Loki took Frigga's hand in his. He was nervous and scared of what was going to happen, he held on tightly to his mothers hand. Heimdall opened the gate and let them come thought to there side. Frigga stood tall and next to her was her son, holding her hand, standing tall as they made their way to the castle. the place where Loki once called home, felt safe, held most of his happy and horrible memorizes for him. Somewhere inside was the man responsible for his evil deeds and another man who lied to him his whole life.


	17. 17

Chapter 17

As they walked through the city Loki noticed the people staring at him. He began to worry that he would be attacked, he was sure most didn't know he was innocent. His worry was put out when a small kid ran up to him, he bowed and gave him a flower. Out of no where cheers erupted, they were welcoming back their prince. He gave a small smile and most of the people began to bow to him, more children ran to give him flowers or treats. He was feeling overwhelmed by the sudden adoration he was receiving, this was something he never thought would happen.

"News spread fast of your innocents my son." Frigga said proudly.

"It is just very sudden, but I am glad." heaved at the children.

"They wanted a public punishment for the person responsible for the corruption of their second prince." Frigga laughed at Loki's confused face. "Most never believed you were capable of the evils they heard of, so when it came out a lot of them were furious."

"Mother, do I need to met with the Allfather?" He asked as they approached the doors.

"Not unless you want to, he knows not to approach you." she thanked the guards that opened the gates.

"I want to see Aðalbrandr as soon as possible but I want to take sometime to get ready." Frigga opened the door to his room. "Thank you mother." 

"Rest. I will come for you in an hours time" she hugged him before leaving.

Loki looked around the room and noticed that it wasn't the same. The furs of his bed to the books in his bookshelf were new and his clothes were new as well. He pushed what he saw to the back of his mind, he had more important things to concentrate on for the moment. Loki put the flowers and treats on the empty shelf he had and changed into his Asgardian clothes. He sat down on his bed and began to try and clear his mind, sentiment was something he can not show to Aðalbrandr. After an hour had past Frigga went to get Loki but he was in a very deep trance.

"My son." she shook him a bit. "Wake up, Loki. It is time." she spoke a bit firmer and louder. 

"Mother." Loki opened his eyes. "I am as ready as I can be."

"You don't have to do this but I know you still will." She ruffled his hair. "The guards and me will be close by but not in sight. If you need us just call for us."

"Okay mother, who is taking us down?" Frigga gave a small smile.

"Fandral." Loki sighed and looked down. "I know you and them have never seen eye to eye but he is willing to take us down. I also don't trust the other guards with this task."

"Who knows, we might see eye to eye now." he gave a sad smile. "I don't remember him that well, I know he was with me and Thor when younger but I can't remember our interactions."

"They also know of your innocents and he wants to properly apologize to you for what he did when you were in control." she sat down next to him on the bed.

"He shouldn't apologize, I wasn't myself. Sif and the warriors three did Asgard a great favor by going to get Thor." he looked at his hands. "I wasn't myself then and I would have hurt the people."

"Come, let us go." she hugged him and helped him off the bed. "A lot of what you did in the past wasn't you, the people know and they still want you back."

Frigga and Loki walked side by side until they were almost to the dungeons, Loki could feel his heart speed up. Sensing her sons desperation she held his hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Fandral met them before they got to the gates and he gave bow to his Queen and Prince. Loki gave him a small smile which he returned. 

"My prince, I am sorry for defying your orders and I am glad you are back." he bowed.

"You never defied me as those orders were not my own." he smiled. "We should hurry down, Aðalbrandr must be lonely."

Fandral smiled and opened the door to the hall leading down to the dungeons. The hall was still as dark and damped as he remembered, with almost no light. The cells were filled with criminals, some he put there long ago and others from wars. Loki looked at the other set of doors towards the back, where his cell was next to, and saw the guards opening the doors. Frigga gave his hand one last squeeze as she let go and he entered the room. The door closed behind him and he could instantly feel the cold.

"I see the Juton runt has finally graced me with his presence." Aðalbrandr smirked from his corner. He was tall, dark blue with black scar like runes all over him and black eyes.   
"I came to ask if you played any hand in the illness that plages Thor." Loki stood tall.

Aðalbrandr smirked before laughing out loud. "Is the Prince alright? Does he suffer from heat spikes, headaches and is acting violently? Is he already on his death bed?"

"What do you do to make cause him such illness?!" Loki yelled, trying not to run out of the room.

"Well I didn't do much, I never touched him but you- you slept in his bed when young. You bathed with him, hunted and had so much contact with him." he began to laugh. "Better question would be, what did you do."

Loki could feel his heart speed up and sweat on his brow. "What- what did I do?"

"That is much better." he hummed "Well let's see, it was all his and your fault to begin with. I am sure the Allmother told you of Odin's back ground?" Loki nodded "You and that egotistic Prince formed a bond when he saved you from drowning. I 'asked' you to severed it."

"A bond can't be severed." Loki backed up a bit as Aðalbrandr approached the cells wall.

"No it can't, so 'you' turned it on him. When 'you' turned the bond he had against himself, well let say he is lucky to have survived for so long." He laughed at Loki's broken expression. "The bond that you share is what is killing him. There is no way to fix it, I don't even know how to. Want to know a small secret since you've been so kind." he smiled.

"What?" Loki new tears were spilling but didn't care.

"Let's see. When the bond turned on itself, it caused him to want to separate from you so the bond would die out. When he did separate from you it stopped hurting him just like when he hurt you, or ignored you. Thor didn't know what was happening but his subconscious did and that made him step away from you." Aðalbrandr began to laugh again.

"That idiot loved you too much to listen to it so he kept trying to protect you but every time he did the damaged bond would spread. He sealed his fate when he refused to kill you and every time he tries to protect you. Any time the bond tried to grow between the two of you, a piece of him died."

Loki banged on the doors and ran out when they opened. Frigga heard most of what was said, she was upset but her son needed her at the moment. She ran after him with Fandral right behind her. Loki finally stopped running when he was outside in the his mother's garden, his safe place. He sank down to his knees and began to cry; why did it have to be him. Frigga knelt down next to her son and wrapped her arms around him, she pulled him close and let him cry.

"Mother, it is my fault." Loki cried into shoulder. "I am killing Thor."

"No." she knew she was crying but she had too strong for her son. "It is his fault, he made you. He had complete control over you, you were but a child when Thor saved you and had barely any magic."

"It is my fault!" he yelled and pushed away from his mother. "If I was stronger or if I had told you that I felt another's presence, all of this could have been avoided."

"Then it is my fault as well." she held a firm voice "If I had taken your speaking to a voice when younger more seriously then this could have also been avoided." 

"But you didn't know, how could you have guessed." Loki held her hand.

"The same goes for you my son." she gave a small smile. "We will go to the Elves, they would surely know of a cure or a way to undo what has happened."

"Mother 'he' doesn't even know. It has never been heard of for a bond turned on itself." Loki looked to see Fandral standing a few feet away. "Fandral, what say you?"

"You are not at fault and if I may say..." Loki nodded. "Thor would beat you if you blamed yourself right now, he loves you too much."

"Thank you, Fandral." Loki helped his mother to stand up. "Mother, we shall eat and go to the Elves."

Fandral helped them walk back to Loki's rooms and he went off to get someone to bring them food. Loki and Frigga sat down to wait for the food to arrive, she frowned when she saw her son forcing a smile. She was going to address it when the door opened and the servants brought in their favorite meals: beer, salads, fruits and assortment of cheese. Loki poured them both some water before they began to eat; Frigga and Loki didn't eat much.

"Tell me what your thinking about, and don't lie." Frigga said sternly.

"Do you think the Elves will be able to explain it in more detail of what ills Thor now that we know the cause." Loki poked his food.

"Yes they will. They are very knowledgeable about the dark magic and if we had known this was the cause we would have a cure by now." Frigga sipped her water. "Also knowing that he has Juton blood will help, it's about time the truth came out."

"Will Odin let you say it?" Loki looked her in the eyes.

"He will not like that his secrets some out but he broke one too many promises he made to me." she sighed but smiled. "I don't care if he allows it or not, if it can help Thor then I will do what needs to be done."

"Mother, we should go after we're done eating. We don't need to waste time on asking what we can and can't do, we have a time limit to meet." Loki said seriously. 

"You did learn a lot more than just magic from me, you're most definitely my son." she smiled at her son.

"I've see you do your own business without Odin. I learned from you that there are time when you should ask and obey but other times when you should do what feels right." Loki remembered how his mother kept up her own affairs without the knowledge or permission of Odin and came out on top.


	18. 18

Chapter 18

"My son, I have noticed that you have formed a bond." she smiled sweetly at her son. "Can I know which bond and with who?"

"Yes I have. I formed my confidantes bond with the Captain." Loki smiled "It feels peaceful with him."

"That is great, my son." Frigga and Loki made their way over to chairs while the servants cleaned up the meal. "He is a great man, my son. I am proud."

"Thank you, mother." Loki sat in his seat.

"Now I must ask, as your confidant do your trust him? Even if the bond is there, together you must strengthen it and make it strong." Frigga crossed her legs.

"I know, my secrets are not allowing it to grow as it should." Loki looked out his window. "I'm just nervous of telling him about...my heritage. What f he rejects me or fears me?"

"I'm sure he won't, you have to learn to trust. There's a reason why he was chosen for your confidants bond." Frigga smiled as her son relaxed more.

"Mother, did Odin form a bond with you?" Loki looked at his mother.

"He did. I am his lover and Confidant." she smiled fondly at her memorizes.

"What happened to his mother?" Loki asked and Frigga smile was lost.

"We formed our bond when we were still young. I met Bestla and she was just a beauty to behold." she began to smile again. "Borr, his father, had a peace treaty with the Juton so Bestla would travel to them to met her family. Laufey, the prince at the time, hated Asgard and the peace treaty so he killed the King. We didn't know he was murdered so Bestla went to visit her family. When Borr had no word on his wife he traveled to Jotunhiem with Odin and I was brought alone."

She brushed away a few tears as she silently looked out the window. Loki gave her a moment to gather herself and the thoughts going through her mind.

"When we arrived we went straight to the palace. The king was not on the throne but Laufey, he then announced to us that the king passed away and he was now king. Borr, Odin and I were a bit taken back but we had no known qualms with him and asked for Bestla." she shook a bit. "Laufey asked us to wait. He returned and...threw Bestla's mangled body at our feet. Strange as it may sound, her beauty still was present on her face. Borr cursed Laufey as he took his wife's body away. Odin became frantic with grief and anger that I had to drag him away."

"I am sorry for their lose." Loki looked at his hands. "Can I ask one more question?"

"Yes my son. Ask anything."

"Why did Odin save me that day of the war? Did he love me at all?

"Odin saved you because you were a babe and had no blame. He did love you but the remainder of his mother was still fresh in his mind and was unable to fully love you as he wanted to. I made him swear that he would not let the past influence his treatment of you." Frigga gave him a sad smile. "Laufey found out that we had you and demanded you back, you were still a babe. Odin refused and the number of guards was increased. I was swollen with a little girl, Bestla was to be her name in honor of his mother, when this was happening. You and Thor were still small and didn't know much of what was happening." she put her hand over her flat stomach. "When we refused to hand you over Laufey swore to make us rue that day. I was eating when I feel ill, Laufey had hidden a man in our court and poisoned my food. I lost the babe that day. We still had not announced my pregnancy so the funeral was just us."

"I am sorry mother, I did not know." Loki rushed over to her and held her hand.

"I will not hide anything from you my son and I told all my secrets. Odin was deeply hurt by Laufey twice and the scars were deep for him. He lost Bestla twice in a way." she held his hand "I am not asking you to forgive him but I wanted you to know why he always held some resentment towards you my son. When he thought you went astray like Laufey, he couldn't help but think back to what happen in the past."

"Thank you for telling me such a story, mother. I have not forgiven either Thor or Odin but I have come to understand Odin a bit more." Loki smiled a bit. "Maybe later when I feel stronger, I'll met with Odin and talk."

Frigga and Loki sat down as they stared out the window, it over looked her garden and the view was peaceful. They rested as they sorted through their thoughts and what was to come. They had to go to the Elves, explain what they found out and hopefully find a cure for Thor. Frigga felt relieved at sharing her most hurtful secret in hope that it will help her son understand that everyone had something that was hurting. She hoped that it would help him open up to his confidant and he could get closure in some areas she couldn't help him in.

"My Queen and Prince, I wish you a safe trip." Heimdal said as he Bifrost sent the to Alfheim.

They landed in a garden where Frigga recognized, the room where they held Thor was close. Loki looked around and was astonished by the beauty of the realm. They were gifted with great plants and wildlife.

"Queen Frigga and Prince Loki; this way." A guard Elf came out of the room.

"Thank you." Frigga followed him as did Loki.

"How does Prince Thor fair?" Loki asked the Guard.

"He had two more attacks since the Queen left but he is asleep once again." The Guard opened the door.

Thor no longer looked as if the Sun God kissed him, he was pale with dark circles under his eyes. His hair seemed to have no life as they also seemed more pale. There were two female healer's cleaning him up and preparing him to swallow some drink.

Have you found out what ills the Prince, Prince Loki." The head healer asked. "I wish to know as he does not have much longer left on the realm of the living."

"Yes. Aðalbrandr told us that when I was younger I turned the bond on itself. It is slowing destroying his mind and that there is no cure." Loki said as he watched the healer's rub Thor's neck so he wouldn't choke on the drink.

"Aðalbrandr is an idiot!" the healer proclaimed as she sat down. "A bond can't be turned on itself or be broken, unless death happened. What else have you to tell me about the prince. Because if this had to do with a bond, then it shouldn't have affected Thor this way."

"Thor has Juton blood in him." Frigga said from her seat. "From his grandmother, Bestla."

"Ah. Well this can be fixed. If we waited any longer he would be dead." she gave them a warm smile.

"How?" Loki asked from where he stood.

"Aðalbrandr does not know what he caused. When you tried to cut the bond at it's roots the bond turned from love to hate. You didn't turn it on its own." she poured some water in cups for them. "Bonds are alive and take form in anyway they want to by our actions. Your actions, even if you had no control, caused the bond to turn to hate. The bond made him hate you but Thor, having no idea about the bond, felt confused. His subconscious feelings were messing with the original feelings he felt. In the end the bond is doing what it can to separate you two, in this case, death."

"How can we fix this?" Loki asked.

"You will have to go deep in his mind and restart the bond to knew." the Elf sipped her water.

"How does one do that?" Loki sat next to his mother.

"First you will have to use your magic to erase the damaged bond, I will show you how, and that will rid him of his memorizes temporarily for a the bond to restart like new."

"Will that help him?" Frigga asked.

"Yes. Loki you can either restart a new bond with him or he can restart it with someone else." she looked out her window.

"How has the damaged bond affect the way he treated me and with his feelings with me?" Loki asked, he had no know everything before he could make up his mind.

"The bond would make him feel uneasy near you so he would have to separate from you. The bond would try to make him hate you but whenever he wouldn't it would make him get confused. He wanted to love you unconditionally but can't. He would protect you, love you and always be close to you and in turn the bond started to eat him away from the inside out." she looked over to Loki. "None of this is your fault and if you want my healer's and complete wash Aðalbrandr from you."

"Thank you. But can't your healer's heal Thor?" Loki asked.

"Yes if you don't want the bond to restart with yourself." she gave him a sad smile. "I would say take your time but Thor doesn't have time. He has until the next full moon on our realm."

"Three weeks...." Frigga whispered.

"I will return in a couple of days time." Loki helped his mother stand. "I need to think this over mother. I will return to midguard and seek help from my confidant and the rest of the team."

"Yes my son." she hugged him close. "I will stay here my son and no matter what you choose I will stand by you." Frigga smiled at her son.

"Thank you mother." Loki hugged her mine last time and walked out to the field. "Heimdal!”

Loki landed back to Asgard and after talking to Heimdal about his mother he left. He was on the roof of Stark Tower and was met with Steve. He was in his suit but didn't have the mask on or his shield. Loki smiled as the quietly walked back inside and down to the living room. Steve was making some tea for both as Loki sat down on the couch. He felt confused and conflicted with the choice he had to make.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Steve asked as he set the tea and cookies down. "You've been gone for one day."

"We found what ills Thor and have a cure for him." Loki looked down at the tea.

"Your not happy about it?" Steve asked Loki. "Does it have to do with the Frost Giant thing your mother was talking about." Steve asked and Loki nodded.

Yes. Me and Thor had a bond, I tempered with it so it turned to hate. Now he is almost dead and I don't know what to do." Loki felt arms wrap around hi and turned into them.

Steve held Loki as he cried for his pain. He understood that Loki was hurt, in pain and needed someone to just hold him and let him work through it for a bit. Loki now understood why he formed his confidants bond with the captain.


	19. 19

Chapter 19  
"First I don't really understand what Frost Giants have to do with this, what is happening to Thor and what has you confused?" Steve asked once Loki was calm.

"I, being a Frost Giant, formed a bond with you but you can't feel it as I can. Only those with Seiðr or Frost Giants can form bonds and feel the full effect. Me and Thor having the blood of Frost Giants caused the bond to be stronger than the one we share." Loki wasn't sure of the captain was following everything he was saying. "Do you understand so far?"

"Yes. Because you are the same race or at least have the blood relation, you both can feel the bond stronger than you and I." Steve smiled a bit.

"Okay so when I tempered with the bond it turned to hate, very strong hate towards me. My half of the bond was not turned to hate which is why we clashed so much. He has refused the feeling not knowing why he felt it, which is why he would be confused and do things without really thinking them through when it concerned me. The bond did what it was made to do, separate us but, as it's last resort, either killing me or him. Thor of course refused, so the bond is now killing him." Loki looked at Steve. "He has a chance to either restart the bond with me or someone else."

"Is that what confuses you?" Steve asked as he rubbed small circles on his back.

"Yes. I am the cause of so many problems. My birth father killed Odin's mother just because he wanted to. Odin refused to hand me over to Laufey which caused my mother to lose a babe. Now Thor is like this, maybe someone else should be with him. Someone who will be good for him." Loki buried his face into the Captain's arms.

"No, because you are the best for him. No matter if it was for a bond or not, I'm sure Thor will want you there." The Captain smiled. "I am sure he will be very happy when he finds out he gets a chance to restart with you."

"His memory will be wiped clean for the bond to restart." Loki gave him a sleepily grin. "I feel better talking to you but I will stay and rest for one day before I go and get Thor back."

"Should we get Tony back here, I'm should he will jump at the chance." Steve laughed.

"Yeah. Even if Thor won't remember you guys it will be good for him." Loki smiled "We can call him after I leave, he has only been there for three days, one more won't kill him."  
"True and that way he can get some work done." Steve helped Loki stand up.

The next day Steve left to follow a trace that hinted at some drug ring that is selling more than just drugs. He had promised to be back in time for dinner unless he had to get involved. Loki left for the dog park with his camera and phone just in case. He took pictures of the people, pets, trees and butterflies. Looking at the dogs made him want to go to the pet store that Steve took him once to look around. 

The pet store was small and had a wide selection of pets. Looking around he saw fishes, lizards, snakes, dogs and cats. The snakes were smaller than he was used to seeing and not deadly, the same with the lizards. They had also showed him to the rodent section, he never knew they could be kept as pets. Loki liked the rodents they called hamsters and the pet dogs. He wondered if the team would let him keep a pet at the tower.

"Would you like to pet one?" the owner came up to him and opened the door.

"Thank you." Loki walked in and froze. The dogs ran up to him and wagged their tails.

"They like you." the owner laughed and Loki began to pet the heads and rub some bellies. "Want to feed them." he gave Loki a handful of treats.

"Do I just throw them?" he asked and the owner laughed.

"Yes but ask them to do a trick." Loki put a treat out and said sit. "There you go."

His phone rang. "Hello?" Loki held it like Steve showed him.

"Good you're alive!" Tony’s voice rang. "I tried to call yesterday but the call couldn't go through and I couldn't trace it. Pepper got worried so I called again, we were about ready to go over there when Jarvis told us that you left and Captain said it was nothing to worry about."

Loki stepped out for the dog pin and smiled at the owner. He gave back the rest of the treats.

"I went to Asgard and then to Alfhiem, I got back yesterday night." Loki walked out of the store. "How is the travel?"

"I told Pepper you probably messing with your magic on it. It is very boring. We finished earlier than expected since one of the guys didn't show up." Tony laughed. "Isn't Alfhiem where the Elves live, why did you go there? I tried to call Cap. but he is on a mission. We will be back in either today or early tomorrow morning, depends how long the meeting to pray last. We will try to get in today as I am tired and bored out of my mind here."

"I am leaving for Alfheim come sunrise. Thor is there and I went with mother." Loki was getting a headache from talking on the phone. "I will explain later, goodbye."  
He could understand how the mortals liked having the device. He put it in his pocket and stopped by the store and picked up a cart like Steve taught him. Loki made sure he had the green paper they called money and went around the store. No boar or deer, he learned long ago, but he did take a fancy to chicken, steak and the seasoning that they applied to it. Steve had taught him many domestic talents that included cooking, cleaning, shopping and getting around. Stark taught him how the world worked with technology and methods of communication. 

As he made his way around the store he saw a family up ahead with two sons. They reminded him so much of his youth with Thor. The kids were pushing each other around and laughing as the mother tried to calm them and the father pushed the cart. Once he and Thor were fighting and their mother ran out to stop it while Odin told her that they were just boys and let them be. Thor and him were once close and he wanted that back, he wanted Thor back. He didn't care in what way or form but he wanted the overprotective, loving and thick headed blonde he loved. Loki wiped the tear and pushed the cart aside and ran outside. He teleported back to the tower, ran to the rooftop and pulled out his Stark phone.

"Iron Man." the phone glowed red.

"What's the problem?" Tony yelled.

"I am bring Thor back by sunrise and he will need your healer's help." Loki said. "I am leaving to Alfhiem to retrieve him but he is very sick and we need a room ready with a healer."

"Got it." Tony hung up and Loki looked up at the sky.

"Heimdall!" Loki yelled.

Loki land on the Bifrost and watched a Heimdall got ready to send him to Alfheim. Loki held up a hand, Heimdall stopped, as Loki sat down to rest. The travel was a lot of strain and he was still not at full power. He stood up tall and nodded, Heimdall pulled it again and the room spun. He was back on Alfheim, surrounded by the beautiful nature they had and made his way inside to Thor. The healer's, with his mother help, were giving water to Thor and cleaning him up. 

"How do I do this?" Loki asked and the main healer.

"Loki, nice to see you so soon." she smiled. "You will need to push your seiðr into the infected areas and force out the damaged seiðr. The bond will fight back with a great force. To rest the bind you will have to temporarily erase his memorizes to start a new."

"How do I temporarily erase his memorizes?" Loki raised his brow. "Memorizes are delicate and one wrong move can not only damage them but erase them permanently."

"For that not to happen you will have to have full trust in yourself and in your seiðr." she said as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "You have to have no ill will towards him for this to work."

"I don't even know how to temporarily remove memorizes." Loki sat down and the healer pulled out a book.

"You have mastered the Allspeak. This has the spells, runes and items needed for both steps of this." she flipped through the book. "The first half you know what to do. For the memorizes you will need to draw this memory rune in the back of both his ears with this black stone which is found here in Alfhiem. That will help store the memorizes until you remove it. Next you will have to to get him to swallow this," she pulled out a cup with green tinted water " and say this spell."

"Simple enough." Loki looked over the book.

"Now we can prepare a room for you here and the First prince until you're both well to travel back to Asgard." The healer smiled.

"Thank you but I am taking him to Midgard. They have advanced much since we last visited them." Loki smiled. "They can ensure my and Thor's well being but can I request for two guards to help me take him there."

"That is good since he is weak at the moment and this will cause him a great deal of pain and stress. His heart may stop but a strong enough shock can fix that, I have read up on the Midgardians ways since I knew you would want to go there. I will assign two of the strongest to help you on your trip back." she raised her arm and two guards came in. "They are my personal guards and trust them with this."

"Thank you, we will leave when you have cleared him." Loki bowed to the healer. 

"Very well. Go and eat with your mother." she smiled.

They had no meat as the Elves believed in everyone and everything being equals. Loki and his mother enjoyed the meatless salads and the delicious but very sweet drinks. Everything came from around them: the drinks were from the nectar of the flowers, the salad and garnishes were from the trees and gardens they had. Frigga looked better rested than before and more calm, Loki thought it was due to her environment. When finished they walked back inside and to Thor's bedside to watch over him as they looked him over. The healer's cleared him to go to Midgard but Loki wanted to rest before traveling again and to be sure that Anthony had the room ready with the healer.


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in awhile. No excuses but an excuse non the less. I got into a bike accident and my phone was crushed. All my stories, links and notes where on it. Anyway here is the story.

Chapter 20

Loki and Frigga ate a quiet breakfast before heading out to meet up with the two guards. Frigga was going with Loki until they got to Asgard and stay to do her duties. The two guards were to take Loki and Thor to Midgard and stay until the ritual was over. Loki knew that it was a simple thing to do and he wanted to make sure it went on without a hitch. The main healer allowed him to take the book and any others he liked.

"Mother, I will contact you, or Heimdall, on the progress of Thor's health." Loki stood next to his mother.

"Thank you my son." Frigga brushed some hair back. "I will visit soon enough after I put my affairs in order."

"Very well. They are here." Loki looked over at the Elves.

They had Thor on a flat type of bed and held in place by them. Thor was put to sleep to stop the pain and make transporting him easier.

"Sir. We are ready." the guards stood next to them.

"Very well. Heimdall." Frigga called out. They were encased in the light and pulled towards the Bifrost.

"My Queen and prince." he pulled the sword out.

"Heimdall." Frigga greeted. "Good bye my son. Once my affairs are in order I will visit."

"Good bye mother. Heimdall to Midgard, the of Stark's tower." Heimdall thrusted the sword in again.

"Safe trip my prince." Heimdall twisted the sword.

Tony was on the roof with Steve since 6 am. When Loki said first thing in the morning Steve made sure they were both up and ready to met him. It was now 8 am and Tony was on his fourth cup of coffee. Steve stood tall and watched the sky for any hit they were coming back. Tony was about to go back inside when thunder rolled. He quickly called the medical room and the two doctors they were recommend to him by Bruce. 

"They are coming." Steve watched as more thunder and lightning struck.

"Medical room is ready and the two doctors are on standby for them." Tony watched the sky as well.

"Sir power signature approaching is that of Loki and Thor." Jarvis said as the rainbow light struck. Loki and three other people appeared before them.

"Hey Reindeer games, who are they?" Tony looked at the people? next to him.

They were warriors because of the armor they wore and the weapons they had. Both male but very beautiful, with pointed ears, and long silvery hair. They were Elvin people.

"They are the two highest guards from Alfheim." the men bowed. "Bring him in."

"Is that Thor?" Steve asked as he saw his friend.

"Yes. The healer rooms?" Loki asked and Tony showed them the way.

They walked down the flight of stairs until they reached the elevator. The guards kept looking around, watching everyone and everything in their way. Tony opened the door and the two doctors stood to greet them. Loki smiled and the guards lifted Thor to the medical bed they had.

"Sir, do you need any further assistance?" one of the guards asked.

"No thank you. That will be all, go to the top again and Heimdall will take you back." the guards bowed and followed Tony out of the rooms.

"Loki, can you tell the doctors what could happen and what it is you're doing?" Steve looked at the doctors. They were attaching Thor to machines.

"Yes." the doctors looked up "I will be forcing the infected bond out of him. By doing so I will be forcing my magic into him and that could cause his heart to stop. If that happens I will not be able to stop so he will be to be stabilized. A be shock might so the trick."

"Isn't he able to control thunder?" one of the asked.

"Yes but he is very weak right now so the highest volt you got might do the trick if not ask Tony to." Loki pulled up a chair to the back of Thor's bed. "Do not disturb me."  
The doctors stood back and watched Thor's vitals for any changes. Steve was next to him and Tony stood by the door just in case someone tried to walk in. Loki place his hands on either side on Thor's head and began to push his seiðr in, Thor's bond was pushing him back out. He forced his way in through the first wall and could see the damage gone. Most of his memory was being destroyed, they were jumbled up and so fuzzy. The infected bond was red and pulsating all around his seiðr, it was sting and didn't want him there.  
Loki began to push and pull at the infected areas, some areas could never be brought back. His seiðr was starting to fade, this was taking up too much of his power. With one final push his seiðr ran through everything and the red was all gone. The doctors were rushing around. Thor was going into cardiac arrest.

"Turn it to the highest we got." the doctor yelled as he rubbed the defibrillator together as it warmed up. "1..2..3!" 

Thor's body spasmed. "Again" he rubbed the together an place them on his chest. "1...2...3..'' there was a spike in his heart movement.

"Move." Tony rushed over. He began to pull thing out and move things around. "Here goes nothing." as he rubbed them together they were able to hear the electricity. "Sorry point break, can't die yet."

The room blackout out as the shock was delivered. When they came back on, Thor's heart beat was back and Loki was awake. "Loki is that?" Tony asked.

"Almost." he pulled out a vial full of a green liquid, a black stone and an old book. "This is the easier part."

The doctors left but Steve and Tony stayed behind to watch over them. Loki was drawing on the back of Thor's ears with the black rock. He tipped Thor's head back and poured the liquid down his throat and massage it for him to to choke. He began to speak as he put his hands over his ears, they were glowing green. Loki passed out and Steve caught him, Thor was less pale them when he came in.

"Put him in the bed next to Thor's." Tony said as he checked over Thor. The markings on Thor were green.

"When do you think they'll be up?" Steve asked as he tucked in Loki.

"Let's see who wakes up first later." Tony hooked Loki up to a heart monitor too. "Jarvis, call us when either one wakes up."

"Yes sir." Jarvis said. As the two men walked out Jarvis turned down the lights.

Tony was at his lunch date the next day with Pepper when Jarvis called him that Loki was waking up. Steve had gone to Shield to check in, debrief on his latest missions and probably get a new one. They arrived back at the tower in less then twenty minutes, Loki was sitting next to Thor. Pepper went to get Loki some water and food.

"How is he?" Tony asked.

"I can feel the bond reaching out for me." Loki smiled a bit. "It feels very warm and safe. He should wake up soon."

"Can you really feel bonds?" Tony asked. He was a man of science not magic.

"Yeah. Mortals can too but very faintly and only if they know how to look for it." Loki chuckled. "I can show you some time."

"Sounds fun but I'll pass." Tony smirked. "So when point break wakes up, he won't remember anything?"

"Yes and no. He will know he is God from Asgard but that I was his brother or that you were his shield Brother."

"So all fun memorizes gone." Tony chuckled.

"No. They will return but we can start from new." Loki smiled sadly. "I do miss Thor but the Thor he was before we became tainted by outsiders."  
"How was he before he went all hell bent on ending you or himself." Tony knew that Loki didn't like to be cuddled about such a topic. He wanted to be treat as a person not a victim because he wasn't one.

"He was still an oaf, very overprotective, didn't leave me alone for one second and very calm to be around." Loki smiled at his memorizes. "He would let me sleep in his bed when a storm came and told me stories to relax me."

"And after?" Tony never got the full story.

"We were playing by a lake and I still had not known how to swim. I wanted to learn and heard that jumping in would help so I did. Thor rescued me." Loki looked away. "I was saved but afterwards he became very ill: body heat rising, was incoherent, irrational and couldn't keep food down. He was seclude as they thought he was contiguous, I was kept in another part. Days later he got better but he kept his distance. So after we just grew apart and that monster caused it all."

"Are you okay with this? I mean he helped with the...you know what." Tony motioned with his hands.

"I don't care about the torture. That is who we are and I was held accountable for my crimes of treason and attempted genocide- twice. Even if I was in their place, I would have advised the same. When I still their and a prince I help organize the torture of our captive war criminals." Loki's stare became cold. "What hurt me was that they were both so adamant that it was me and not believed me when I told them other wise. It did hurt when I thought I would never speak or write again but I re-learned. Trust can't just be brought back it has to be earned back and this is his chance. Right now and after wards."

"You are one of the strongest persons I've met." Tony smiled and patted his back. "I wish you luck."  
"Thank you."

Loki checked over Thor to see the progress. His memory was slowly being removed and his body was quickly healing itself from the self inflicted abuse. The bond was attaching itself to his other half and it felt just right. Pepper had brought him water and some turkey sandwiches. Steve returned later that night with a new case, in Washington D.C s and Natasha was going to go with him.

"Hey Steve, do you trust me?" Loki asked and Steve rubbed his head.

"Yes. Why?" He sat next to him.

"Even if I'm a mon-monster?" Loki tripped over the word.

"You're not a monster even if you were a big blue, purple polka dotted lizard." Steve made up random words.

"I- can I show you something." Loki looked him in the eyes. "Mother said it helps makes my magic grow stronger and could help our bond grow as well."

"You can show or tell me anything." Steve smiled

"I don't look like this normally." Loki took deep breath "As you know I am Juton by birth and I grew up hating them. I think them monsters and horrid creatures. I am normally..." he focused of him glamor.

Loki felt it spread from his chest outwards. Steve watched, transfixed, as his new friend slowly went from a pale cream color to a deep royal blue with light blue markings. When Loki opened his eyes, his nomad bright green eyes were gone and replaced by red.

"I want to draw you." Steve smiled. "You don't look like a monster but you look mystically attractive." he blushed.

"I do?" Loki asked. Steve out his hand on his forearm, it was very cold but hurting him.

"Yes, you do." Loki began to cry and slowly turn back.

"Thank you." Steve pulled him in for a hug. "That meant a lot to me."


	21. Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't posted since I couldn't figure it out on my phones who to connect the second part to this. Sorry for the wait.

I wanted this part to be about Loki and how he got to be friends with everyone, recovery and making a home for himself. Instead of making this story really long I descided to break it into two parts, the second parts is about how and Loki and thor fall in love and get together. Loki overcoming his fears and Thor regaining his memorizes and making amends to his new love, working to find peace with each other and the return of the Citauri.


End file.
